It Was A Riot

I saw it all. I tell ya I saw it all. He was there, just like I thought ‘e would be. All greasy ‘n mean. Have you ever seen him look any other way? So there ‘e was, leaning against the wall, choofing on a fag. I expected ‘im to just toss the ash on the floor, bein’ who he is an’ all. But here’s the thing. There was one of those big blue dumpsters beside ‘im and all gentlemanlike he delicately taps the ash into the bin. As if he’s a proper bloke ‘n all! Anyway, he was waitin’ for someone as it turns out, an’round the corner walk this guy. Well to do I reckon. All smart grey suit ‘n pin stripe tie. He looked so odd amongst the trash cans and shit. Walks right up to Joe. They don’t say a word. Joe just reaches for ‘is belt, unbuckles it and rips ‘is pants down. It was crazy man. Suddenly this toff is standing in a dirty lane with his shiny leather belt and perfectly pressed duds on the floor around ‘is ankles. It was hilarious. I almost pissed meself. Then Joe pulls ‘im around, pushes him against the wall and gives him a blow job. Right there and then. They didn’t say a word. Just straight down to business. You don’t see professionalism like that much these days, do ya? Anyways, it was quick I tell ya. The guy squirts, Joe holds out his  ‘and. The guy looks a bit pissed as he pulls up his pants and tries to pull out ‘is wallet. The whole thing was a riot. There ‘e was, tryin’ to hold up his trousers while getting out a wad of cash. Anyway, he pays up and Joe walks. Nothin’ to it. Nothin’ to say. Just turns and walks away. ‘Aint never seen anything a pitiful as that toff standing alone in a dirty lane, holding up his pants an’ flappin’ an empty wallet! Do I know who the guy is? Of course I do. Wouldn’t be ‘ere otherwise now would I?  He’s your man. That guy youse been lookin’ into. That big corruption thing on TV last night. Said there was a reward. ‘Ow much is this worth then?