DIGITAL FRINGE 2023
Stardust Miss and Celestial Prince find themselves on a tropical island working for the Wench. They think they are safe, but Lucifer is always on the prowl and Devil Woman is his right hand woman. Peach is mourning the death of Lothario but will she find love again? There is a new Sheriff and Deputy in town, but why do they look familiar? Meanwhile, Princess Poi is trying to safeguard her culture and appease the Whispering Gods as the Wench turns this tropical paradise into a corporate tourism monster.
In this White Lotus/Hamlet remix, Samsara's Sun Set is the final installment of a trilogy which began in lockdown in 2020. Samsara's Soirusical (the original) and Samsara's Sing Sing (the sequel) can both be heard for free on all good podcatchers through the podcast Samsara's Dramas.
The incredibly talented team of PATE (Planet Arts Theatre Ensemble) have gathered once more to bring these outrageous characters to their final resting place. With a bunch of original songs and a few fun covers - and the most ridiculous script you ever heard - a reckoning of galactic scale is about to erupt over Poiland. There will be nowhere to hide and no-one will escape what is about to happen. The big question is will our lovebirds get their happily ever after or is this really World's End?
Book by Samsara
Includes original song 'Happy Ending' - written and produced by Jo Boyd and Michael Keighley
FEATURING:
Daniel Brasher as Celestial Prince
April Garreffa as Stardust Miss
Josh Hayes as The Deputy
Michael Keighley as Lothario
Scott Knight as Lucifer
Samsara as The Wench
Maree Shefford as Devil Woman
Damian Vuleta as The Sheriff
DROPPING 3 OCTOBER 2023 THROUGH PODCAST SAMSARA'S DRAMAS
Available free on all good podcatchers! (including Spotify, Audible, and Apple Podcasts)
SCRIPT TRANSCRIPT HERE:
ACT I _____ Scene 1 _______
- entire ensemble 'Justified Ancients of Mu Mu'
NARRATOR Here we are, once again spending time with our eternal lovebirds, Stardust Miss and Celestial Prince. Having found love and marriage, they were cruelly torn asunder by the random vagaries of fashion dictatorship. A brief stint in Sing Sing taught them the lengths they were prepared to go to stay together. Having escaped the purgatory of Sing Sing they have run away from society only to find themselves on the beautiful tropical island Poiland. Having met Princess Poi while doing time in Sing Sing, these star-crossed lovers find themselves in paradise, but every Eden has a snake...
Stardust Miss and Celestial Prince are walking along the beach at night after work. The moon is high in the sky, although it is not yet a full moon. Waves are lapping gently on the shore. The night is quiet - perhaps the call of a tropical bird in the distance. Some cheesy movie music softly in background.
STARDUST MISS What a beautiful night. Oh Celestial Prince, how lucky are we? Still together after everything we've been through and now living on this magnificent tropical Island. Poiland. It really does feel like we are at the very end of the world, far away from everything. The Poi Princess -
CELESTIAL PRINCE Queen Poi now...
STARDUST MISS Oh yes. Queen Poi didn't exaggerate about a single thing. The water is crystal blue, the trees are emerald green, and the air is cleaner than a brita water filter.
CELESTIAL PRINCE Stardust Miss, how right you are. We have definitely landed on our feet as they say. Let's sit here and watch the moonlight dancing on the surf.
STARDUST MISS Mmmm, you're so romantic CP! They settle on the sand and sing 'Sea of Love' What a crazy coincidence that the tropical island we landed on after escaping from Sing Sing ended up being Poiland! What were the odds?
CELESTIAL PRINCE Yeeees. A coincidence indeed! Somehow, I think The Wench organised a lot more about your escape than we ever realised.
STARDUST MISS Oh. It never occurred to me that she might have engineered this.
CELESTIAL PRINCE That is because you are so trusting Stardust Miss. I don't believe in coincidences. It might have been one thing to just find ourselves on Queen Poi's island. What is less coincidental is how the entire inmate population seems to have followed us here.
STARDUST MISS It does make it rather crowded. At least we have work though.
CELESTIAL PRINCE Another coincidence? King Poi has a mysterious death, Princess Poi gets the promotion and The Wench suddenly set up a luxury island resort here and we all have jobs.
STARDUST MISS Hey! You make that sound like a bad thing. There is no way Poi had anything to do with her dad's death, and how else is a bunch of fashion tragic escapees going to make a living in this image conscious world? The Wench has given us jobs and a place to stay - and all of it on one of the most beautiful islands in the world.
CELESTIAL PRINCE Oh, I'm not complaining, Stardust Miss. It is more that I am feeling cautious. Putting our trust in The Wench is not the safest thing at the best of times.
STARDUST MISS Look, CP, she has dealt with us squarely so far. She got me out of Sing Sing and brought us here. Fed us, employed us, and we get to spend glorious nights like this lying under the stars...and making sweet, sweet looooove? She starts kissing his neck and ears. Celestial Prince chuckles and joins in.
CELESTIAL PRINCE Stardust Miss! Are you propositioning me?
STARDUST MISS Here are your options CP. We can sit here and keep talking about The Wench or we can fall under the spell of that big, bright moon and let our bodies do the rest of the talking...? Mmmm, you taste like cinnamon!
CELESTIAL PRINCE When you make out with a chef you always get dessert my love.
STARDUST MISS I knew I married you for a reason. Magical scene dissolve music
Scene 2 _______
NARRATOR Meanwhile, tired from a long day of money making, The Wench and Queen Poi relax in The Wench's office and go over the last bits of business for the day. Is it just me, or does The Wench look very smug indeed?
Same night. The Wench and Queen Poi are meeting in The Wench's office. They are relaxing over a 14 yr old single malt scotch. Some sort of tribal drumming soft in the background.
THE WENCH Pull up a pew Queenie. Let's toast another successful week in the tourist trade, and then toast again to this new load of human wallets who arrived on by boat this morning. She pours 2 snifters of scotch. They chink glasses.
QUEEN POI You know I don't like being called Queenie. It is not respectful and as business partners we need to have respect between us, if nothing else.
THE WENCH Listen here Queenie, don't forget who put you on this island throne of yours, and don't forget who has found a way to pay to keep so much of the island preserved in its natural glory. All I have asked in return is this one tiny cove in order to heap largess on all our fellow escapees. Women who have no other way of making a go of life in the real world where there is no such thing as too thin and everyone is too fat.
QUEEN POI I know Wench. You're right and your intentions are good. I just worry about how you go about things sometimes. This cove is very important to my people. I don't think you realise how much pain this development has caused them.
THE WENCH Damn straight my intentions are good! I only want the best for me...for all of us, I mean, of course. It's one tiny cove. It's not the end of the world for goodness sake. Your people seem to be coping just fine now there is an income being generated. Let's not hash over old ground though. I have some pretty incredible news and it means big things for us all.
QUEEN POI Oh?
THE WENCH You won't believe this when I tell you. You know how Peach has been moping about ever since Lothario died during the breakout at Sing Sing?
QUEEN POI Yes. It is so sad to watch her live without light in her heart. I pray to our Whispering Gods every night to help fill her empty spaces.
THE WENCH I bet she does too! (chuckles) Anyway, I was curious about what happened after the big Sing Sing fire and it turns out Lothario was found and they were able to revive him!
QUEEN POI No way! He's alive?
THE WENCH Better than that. He's here!
QUEEN POI What? How? Oh, Peach must be over the moon.
THE WENCH I haven't told her yet. He doesn't know she is here either.
QUEEN POI What? Well, Peach is the bartender now so I imagine they will find each other any moment now. (laughs). Do you have plans for him? You have plans for everybody. How is this going to play out Wench? The tribal drums grow in loudness and urgency across the following.
THE WENCH You know me well Queenie. Did you know Lothario is a sea boat captain? We have just about everything here you need for a luxury island resort but we haven't been able to offer anything more substantial than canoe rides with the locals. I am about to change that. Tomorrow morning a new super yacht will be arriving and Lothario will be the captain. I was thinking we would organise short cruises out to Whispering Gods Point to begin. It's magical out there. We can charge the earth for that sort of thing. Catering by Celestial Prince. Stardust Miss will be chief stew. And Peach on drinks of course.
QUEEN POI No, Wench, no. You can't go to Whispering Gods Point. That is sacred ground in Poiland. It is a place of great power. There are forces out there that no mere mortal can endure. This cannot be. No. I will not allow it. A loud drum crack and then silence. The Wench slams her glass on the table and stands menacingly.
THE WENCH Did you just say no? To me? Are you forgetting who I am, what I can do?
QUEEN POI No Wench, not at all. It is just that there are some lines even you can't cross...for your own sake! 6. Created using Celtx
THE WENCH I am rich, I am white, and I stand for progress. Nothing is out of bounds for me to imagine and achieve. You can keep all of your little superstitions. I am not asking you to change what you believe, but do not make the mistake of thinking you and your Whispering Gods can stand in the way of the world I want to make in my own image. History is written by the winners, and so are religions. The Wench sings 'Money' . The drums fade back in to crescendo at the end of the scene.
QUEEN POI I beg you, Wench. Reconsider before it is too late. Think about my people. Think about your people. You do not know our Whispering Gods. You have to trust me. This is a very bad idea.
THE WENCH Get out. I have had enough of your provincial nay saying for tonight. Go and pray to your Whispering Gods and let them know we are coming. Ask them to lay out a welcome mat. We'll be there at the full moon.
QUEEN POI So soon!
THE WENCH Get out.
Scene 3 _______
NARRATOR The moon sits heavily pregnant in the sky and our new batch of merrymakers find ways to ease themselves into the gentle arms of island sleep. A weary Peach wipes drops of moisture from an endless army of pitchers and pints and snifters. Two gangly gentlemen step up to imbibe the local cocktail and celebrate their temporary escape from civilization. Do they look familiar to you too?
Peach is tending the poolside bar. It is the end of a long day, one of an endless array of long, empty days. She wearily cleans glasses, as the Pina Colada song plays in the background. There is a splash and giggle as someone jumps in the water. Two middle aged gentlemen - evidently not at home in this environment - plop heavily onto the bar stools in front of her.
PEACH Well hello you old bar flies. Welcome to Poiland. Fresh off the boat are you?
SHERIFF What? How did you know we were bar flies? How did you recognise us?
DEPUTY Cool it Sheriff...she is just making chit chat. There is no way she can recognise us in these holiday maker outfits.
SHERIFF Ah, yes Deputy. Of course. (to Peach). Yes indeed young missy. Just two old degenerates escaping the ratrace for a week of tropical island bliss in Poiland.
DEPUTY What he said.
PEACH Welcome, etc, yada yada yada. What can I get ya?
SHERIFF Something from the top shelf I reckon. DEPUTY Aaaah, Sheriff...er, I mean Ralph... that might be a little pricey...? I don't know if the department...bank balance!... can afford top shelf.
SHERIFF Ah, yes Deputy -
DEPUTY Sam!
SHERIFF Ah, yes, Sam! Well little lady, what do you recommend for two lonely old men having the holiday of their life.
PEACH Well, I'll begin by recommending you don't call me little lady.
SHERIFF Ah, yes, sorry little la- DEPUTY We're sorry miss. Might you do us the honour of telling us your name?
PEACH That's more like it. Everybody calls me Peach. Peach by name and peach by nature. Just take a bite and find out how sweet I am.
SHERIFF Well you're a bit fiesty this evening, aren't you little
DEPUTY Peach!
SHERIFF Yes. Peach. That's what I was going to say.
PEACH Enough of the frivolity gents. Alcohol is money and I need to make some.
DEPUTY Peach, this is our first island get away. What would you recommend to knock off our travel wearies and lead us to the gentle land of nod?
PEACH Well, ain't that a sweet way to speak to a girl! You know what? I reckon you two fellas should have a go at a pina colada. We serve them in these cute little pineapple cups with straw umbrellas. It really sets the tone for your holiday, y'know what I mean?
DEPUTY Well, Peach, that sounds swell. We'll have two of those.
SHERIFF Pina Coladas? That takes me back...
DEPUTY Shhhh Ralph.
SHERIFF I'm not saying anything Sam. Peach shakes up the cocktails.
PEACH You know what? You two blokes look real familiar to me. Have we met before? Another bar maybe, from another time?
DEPUTY No. Never seen you before.
SHERIFF Never ever! We would recognise a beautiful face like yours.
DEPUTY And that personality...
PEACH Really? I could've sworn... I need another Bintang. She puts the drink down in front of them and then walks off, pondering.
DEPUTY Well that was a close call.
SHERIFF Yes, we will have to be very careful until we crack this case. I half expected to be recognised from our prison warden days, but I nearly fell off my stool when she referred to our days as bar flies!
DEPUTY Even if we do get recognised we can just admit we got sacked after the Sing Sing fire and big jail break. Nobody would ever believe we managed to get another job in international law enforcement and are rounding up all those escapees.
SHERIFF Indeed Deputy. And meeting Peach tonight shows us we are on the right track. With a clique as tight as the one The Wench ran in Sing Sing you can guarantee we are likely to round up the entire rebel hoard in this one trip!
DEPUTY In that case, Sheriff, let's drink up and enjoy our working holiday to the limits of our governmental stipend until the shit hits the fan! Here's to life at the end of the world.
SHERIFF To life at the end of the world! They slurp noisily through straws and the music swells for a moment.
Scene 4 _______
NARRATOR And what about our old...friends...Lucifer and Devil Woman? Did that raging Sing Sing fire engulf them along with that devilish prison? Sadly, no. A bit singed, a lot defeated, they did emerge to lick their wounds. And wouldn't you know it? I am pretty sure I saw them - or a couple who looked a lot like them - disembark with the newest arrival of tourists this morning. Let's take a look and see what we might find out...
The hotel honeymoon suite. Lucifer and Devil woman have doffed their disguise as an older couple enjoying their 4th honeymoon. They are cotchety with each other, neither of them carrying defeat well and almost exploding with a need for revenge. They are no longer suave and sophisticated. Finally, they have released their feral core. Devil woman is unpacking while Lucifer is focussing on maximum alcohol consumption.
DEVIL WOMAN Look at this crap. I can't believe I have to be seen in public in houndstooth tweed. What kind of special level of torture made you come up with fabric like this Lucifer?
LUCIFER Whatever.
DEVIL WOMAN And what the hell am I going to do with a sun hat? How do people even keep them on their heads? At the first hint of wind it will be skimming across the sand. I am NOT running after it, Lucifer.
LUCIFER Whatever.
DEVIL WOMAN Lucifer, are you listening to me? I'm not just talking to hear the sound of my own voice you know.
LUCIFER Yes you are.
DEVIL WOMAN Oh, well, alright I am. But that is only because you haven't said a word since we left civilisation. I'm not the one who wanted to visit the end of the world to wreak revenge on that god awful Stardust Miss. I would have just as happily written both her and Celestial Prince off and gone about enjoying the rest of eternity never landing anywhere near their orbit.
LUCIFER Stardust Miss...
DEVIL WOMAN Yes, Stardust Miss. You remember her? Rejected you at the wedding altar. Burnt you to a crisp at the prison. And now, here you are, back for more abuse. How she does it, I don't know, but she has your number and she just keeps on ringing it.
LUCIFER Stardust Miss won't get away this time. She may never be mine, but I can definitely make sure she is dead. Her and that odious Celestial Prince.
DEVIL WOMAN It's a good plan Lucy. Fool them into thinking we are a harmless little old couple and then BOOM! Dead as a doornail. Both of them. Quick. Neat. Over! Just don't forget to call me Didi, and I will call you Lukey.
LUCIFER Yes, it will be over alright. Over for them all. Nobody wins over Lucifer Morningstar!
DEVIL WOMAN Except for Stardust Mi
LUCIFER ENOUGH OF YOUR BABBLING, YOU DEMON!
DEVIL WOMAN Alright, alright. Sorry. I've finished anyway. Pour me one of them will you. There is something strange about this island, Poiland. I feel like there are spiders crawling under my skin. Lucifer pours a drink for Devil Woman. Whispering can be heard - lots of voices building.
LUCIFER There is definitely something in the air. I haven't felt this uncomfortable since last time I visited Dad upstairs. It's not the same though. Older. More primal.
DEVIL WOMAN (Whispering) Old gods?
LUCIFER Maybe... I thought we had weeded all of them out over the centuries through colonisation and cultural appropriation, but these smell fresh, healthy...
DEVIL WOMAN Do we need to be concerned?
LUCIFER (Laughing it off) No. Of course not. We rule the world now. I rule the world now. Nothing is stronger that evil and I am the lord and embodiment of all evil!
They sing . Then thunder rumbles. 'Rasputin'
ACT II ______ Scene 1 _______
NARRATOR It is another beautiful, bright morning on the tropical island of Poiland. A gentle breeze keeps the morning cool despite the sun already sitting high in the sky. Resort staff have been bustling busily to meet the breakfast needs of our newly arrived guests. Stardust Miss stands prettily at the concierge desk polishing the marble, fresh despite a hot and heavy night in the arms of her Celestial Prince. Oh, here comes cute old couple. I wonder what these elderly holiday makers might be planning for their first full day on the island?
Lucifer and Devil Woman, disguised as elderly holiday makers strongly resembling Mr & Mrs Thurston Howell from Gilligan's Island, approach Stardust Miss at the concierge desk. Ukele music plays softly in the background.
STARDUST MISS Hello, how are you both today?
DEVIL WOMAN Oh hello deary. It is such a lovely day already. I was just saying to Lukey here I hope it won't get too hot though, wasn't I Lukey?
LUCIFER Stardust Miss!
DEVIL WOMAN Lukey!
STARDUST MISS Why, yes that is my name. How did you know that?
DEVIL WOMAN Yes, Lukey, how did you know that? She pokes him in the ribs.
LUCIFER Oh, ah, yes, how did I know that Didi?
DEVIL WOMAN Oh, um...
STARDUST MISS Of course! You read my name badge. Silly me.
DEVIL WOMAN Yes, silly you indeed. That's what name badges are for, aren't they Lukey?
LUCIFER You are so clever Didi. That's why I have loved you all these years.
STARDUST MISS How long have you two been together if you don't mind me asking?
LUCIFER It feels like a millenia...
DEVIL WOMAN Because when you are living the perfect life times stops, doesn't it Lukey?
LUCIFER Of course Didi.
STARDUST MISS Well aren't you two the sweetest old things. I know what you mean. Time stops whenever I am in the arms of my own personal hero, Celestial Prince.
LUCIFER Celestial Prince...
STARDUST MISS Yes, that is his name.
DEVIL WOMAN And a lovely name that is, dear, isn't it Lukey.
LUCIFER Yes Didi, if you say so.
DEVIL WOMAN (whispering) You have to do better Lucifer or she is going to figure out what we are up to. Lucifer grunts.
STARDUST MISS Enough about my love life. What can we do for you to make this holiday your dream come true. Are you 15. Created using Celtx celebrating something special, perhaps?
DEVIL WOMAN Indeed we are my dear. Lukey and I are celebrating our Golden Wedding anniversary on the night of the full moon and we want to do something amazing. Something, we and everybody else will never forget.
STARDUST MISS Your Golden Wedding anniversary! 50 years married and you still both can't keep your hands off each other. Oh, I hope Celestial Prince and I reach that milestone with as much love and adoration as you both have for each other. Lucifer scoffs
DEVIL WOMAN I'm sure you will dear. All it takes is patience and nowhere else to go. She and Stardust Miss laugh at the joke. But seriously, what Lukey and I want is something special. A fabulous feast for the friends we are going to make this week.
LUCIFER Yes, a feast, but we want it somewhere special. Not here in the dining room. Something remote where we can drown under the full moon.
DEVIL WOMAN Oh dear. He means drown in the light of the full moon, don't you Lukey. He is getting old, is my Lukey, and sometimes he leaves words out.
LUCIFER Yes Didi, that is exactly what I meant. Sorry if my words got upset you dear.
STARDUST MISS Not at all. I understood what you meant. You know what, I may have exactly what you are looking for although it could be a bit pricey...
LUCIFER Money is no object, is it Didi?
DEVIL WOMAN If you say so Lukey.
STARDUST MISS We have something new on the island.
DEVIL WOMAN Did you hear that Lukey? They have something new!
STARDUST MISS This morning a new super yacht berthed in the marina.
LUCIFER A super yacht! Perfect.
STARDUST MISS Yes. It will take a day or so for the new Captain to commission the vessel but it should be ready for a maiden voyage by the full moon. How do you feel about going on a midnight cruise on a brand new super yacht to celebrate your Golden Anniversary?
DEVIL WOMAN Oh my. What a wonderful idea dear! Lukey? What do you think?
LUCIFER Oh Didi, this is just perfect. We can renew our vows with all of our new friends in the water -
DEVIL WOMAN On the water, Lukey. You are such a duffer with words!
LUCIFER Yes, on the water. Now, my dear, where would be the best place to celebrate this conflagration of good fortune?
STARDUST MISS Well, the yacht is new so we don't have any regular cruise routes, but The Wench - our boss - said we might be able to visit Whispering Gods Point. Do you want me to see if we can make that happen.
LUCIFER Whispering Gods Point...
DEVIL WOMAN (whispering) Ooh Lucifer, I don't know about that. I have that spidery feeling again.
LUCIFER (whispering back) No Devil Woman, this is perfect. I can get rid of this group of troublesome humans, and also make sure these old gods know their place in the universe - subservient to me!
DEVIL WOMAN (still whispering) Are you sure about this Lucy?
STARDUST MISS Is everything okay? I can arrange something else if you like. A beach party perhaps, with tribal dancing and a massive bonfire?
DEVIL WOMAN Well that does sound appealing too, doesn't it Lukey?
LUCIFER No. We'll do the cruise and we will celebrate everything at Whispering Gods Point. The night will belong to me!
DEVIL WOMAN Us, Lukey, us. Lucifer's laugh echoes in the atmosphere.
Scene 2 _______
NARRATOR Well that sounds like a lovely Golden Anniversary celebration, doesn't it? Now our sweet doddering pair can go and enjoy the rest of the morning sipping pina coladas in the sunshine. After all, at their age they don't really have to bother with slip, slop, slap anymore, do they? Oh, here come the boys and...oh dear, they are not looking where they are going!
The Sheriff and Deputy barrel right into Lucifer and Devil Woman who are heading out to the pool. Sound of kids splashing in the background.
DEVIL WOMAN Ouch!
SHERIFF Oh, I'm sorry. Here, let me help you up.
LUCIFER Look where you are going you oafs!
DEPUTY Sorry sir. Are you hurt ma'am?
DEVIL WOMAN No, but that's no thanks to you!
LUCIFER Oh, Didi, are you all right my love? (whispering) Your wig is crooked!
DEVIL WOMAN Oh!
SHERIFF So sorry ma'am. Our thoughts were otherwise engaged. Lucifer and Devil Woman regain their composure as Didi and Lukey. Lucifer laughs in a jocular manner.
LUCIFER Oh that's alright chaps. Didi here is a tough old bag, aren't you lovey?
DEVIL WOMAN He means that with love, don't you Lukey?
LUCIFER Of course Didi. You are the light of my life.
DEPUTY What a sweet old couple you are. I hope you are enjoying your holiday.
SHERIFF When oafs like us aren't bowling you over, that is. The all laugh.
DEPUTY (Whispering to Sheriff) Sir, do you notice anything odd about these two?
SHERIFF (Whispering back) What do you mean?
DEPUTY (Whispering again) Well when her wig shifted I could have sworn that woman looked familiar to me. Younger. I am sure I have seen her before. Him too I reckon.
LUCIFER Hey there young fella. What are you whispering about? Planning a second assault perhaps, eh?
DEVIL WOMAN (whispering) Lucifer, you know who these two are don't you?
LUCIFER (whispering back) No, who? DEVIL WOMAN (whispering) That's the Warden and an Officer from Sing Sing!
SHERIFF No sirree. We are so sorry we knocked you over ma'am. Are you injured? Do you need a doctor?
DEVIL WOMAN I am fine young man, just fine.
LUCIFER Don't worry about us young fella. Worry about yourself.
DEPUTY Pardon?
DEVIL WOMAN Oh, Lukey is just making a joke. He makes very bad jokes, don't you Lukey?
LUCIFER I happen to think I am very punny Didi. They all groan.
SHERIFF We don't get called young fellas much these days. My name's Ralph.
DEVIL WOMAN It's all about perspective Ralph. When you get to our age, everyone else looks young.
DEPUTY And I'm Sam.
LUCIFER Sam. Ralph. My name is Lukey and this is Didi. We're here for our Golden Anniversary.
SHERIFF That sounds lovely. We have to go, but we hope you have a wonderful holiday.
LUCIFER What at moment.
SHERIFF Yes?
LUCIFER We've taken a shine to you two lovely young men and we were wondering if you would join us on our special night as we renew our vows.
DEPUTY Oh, I don't think we should...
DEVIL WOMAN We don't know anybody on the island and it would be the saddest thing if we had to celebrate alone. Please join us. We have booked the new super yacht and desperately want to renew our vows under the moonlight in front of friends who can share our joy.
DEPUTY We literally only just bumped into each other right now. I don't know if we can call ourselves friends...
DEVIL WOMAN Oh, but I feel like I have known you both for so much longer than that.
LUCIFER Free food and drinks, the moonlight on the water at Whispering Gods Point. Even if you don't feel you know us, it will be a magical evening!
SHERIFF Come on Sam, let's do it. All work and no play as they say...
DEPUTY I guess it can't hurt. It will give me more time to figure out why I feel you look familiar to me too.
LUCIFER Oh, we just have those kinds of faces. Everybody is always saying we look familiar to them.
DEVIL WOMAN If only we did know that many people. Then we wouldn't be celebrating our anniversary on our own. Please do say yes you will join us and give a lonely old couple a night they will remember forever.
SHERIFF Of course we will come. Wouldn't miss it for the world.
LUCIFER Wonderful! We'll see you on the pier then.
SHERIFF Righto. 'Bye. Lucifer and Devil Woman walk away.
DEPUTY I'm sure I know those two.
SHERIFF Well, we will have hours to work it out on the cruise, won't we?
DEPUTY Indeed.
Scene 3 _______
NARRATOR Is it just me or does everyone seem to think they know everyone else on the island this week? How odd. Let's continue with the story though. After all, business is business and The Wench will do almost anything to make money. Let's see how she does it.
The Wench has gathered the team into her office to plan Lukey and Didi's cruise. The sound of a printer printing a document is heard.
THE WENCH Well that didn't take long. The super yacht has only been in the marina for 2 hours and we already have our first cruise lined up! Good job Stardust Miss.
STARDUST MISS Thanks Wench. I didn't really do much. The gig kind of just found me.
CELESTIAL PRINCE Don't sell yourself short my love.
PEACH Yeah, Stardust Miss. You did the sellin'. We could just as easily be planning a boring old bonfire on the beach if it wasn't for your quick thinking. You got talents girl, and you are usin' them!
QUEEN POI So Wench, I was thinking the yacht could take a lovely cruise around the south horn of the island. The sunset will be magnificent in that direction and -
STARDUST MISS Oh, Queen Poi, I am afraid I already told them they are going to Whispering Gods Point.
QUEEN POI What? Why? We can't go there.
STARDUST MISS The Wench mentioned it this morning when she briefed me about the yacht. It sounds so lovely and would be so romantic!
QUEEN POI No. We can't go there. Wench, we have already discussed this. Whispering God's Point is a sacred place. Having a party in those waters will anger the Whispering Gods and upset my people to the extreme. The Southern horn is a much better -
THE WENCH Shut it, Queenie. We're going to Whispering Gods Point and that is the end of the matter. Now Celestial Prince, it is a wedding ceremony so we will need a wedding cake as well as a sumptuous seafood buffet I think. That old couple are loaded so cost isn't an issue. Peach, non-stop Verve Cliquot I reckon.
PEACH I'll stock up on Bintang too. I'll drink it if no-one else will.
STARDUST MISS Oh Peach, I know how hard it is for you to be around so much happiness without Lothario by your side.
QUEEN POI Oh, but Lothario is -
THE WENCH Shut it, Queenie.
QUEEN POI But Wench...
THE WENCH I said shut it. Now is not the time alright? Stardust Miss, you are in charge of decorations. They're old so just keep it to things they can't trip over. The last thing we need is anyone dying on the island even if it is in the name of fun. Queenie, you're on entertainment. A Ukelele for the wedding march perhaps - that'll bring a nice island vibe don't ya reckon?
PEACH Hey, have y'all seen that pair of blokes who rocked up with the old geezers last night? There is something about them which looks real familiar to me.
STARDUST MISS I can't say I have seen them but, you know, when I was chatting to Lukey and Didi I couldn't shake the feeling I have met them before...
CELESTIAL PRINCE How strange. By the way Wench, how many guests will there be? I need to know how many tiers to put on the cake.
THE WENCH Stardust Miss?
STARDUST MISS Well they said they would just go around inviting everyone they met so it could be 5 people or it could be 50.
PEACH It must get very lonely when you're that age. Everyone you know dyin' around you and all.
STARDUST MISS Peach!
PEACH What? I didn't mean nothin' by that. You know me Stardust Miss.
QUEEN POI No, Wench, no. You can't go to Whispering God's Point. As Queen of Poiland I am putting my foot down. Whispering God's Point is a no-go zone. The Wench laughs meanly
THE WENCH Oh Queenie, it is so cute you think you have any say in the matter. Celestial Prince, make it 4 tiers. That should suffice, and just load up the table with lobsters. That always works. Now, all of you get out. You have work to do. Oh, and ladies, stop letting your imagination spook you. We are all safe on this island. Free to do whatever we want.
QUEEN POI Nothing in life is free Wench.
THE WENCH Get out!
ACT III _______ Scene 1 _______
nARRATOR Aaah, another glorious night on our beautiful tropical island. I see a little bit more of the moon has revealed herself. Soon she will completely freed to radiate all her glorious light on the beautiful Poiland and the people inhabiting her. There was much laughter and frivolity earlier this evening at the resort but everything seems quiet now. That fresh island air is the best cure for insomnia! But wait, who is this lonely soul dragging her feet in the wet sand? Why, it is our busy bartender, Peach! She is swaying a bit so I suspect she may have served herself along with the customers. Let's keep that between ourselves, hey? Nothing good will come from stirring up trouble in such a peaceful little paradise.
Peach is walking along the beach, very drunk and swaying all over the place, occasionally splatting her foot in the wet sand at the water's edge and giggling sadly. She sings . At the end of the song she collapses 'Bintang' onto the sand, passed out. Queen Poi is also wandering along the beach, heavy in thought. She comes across Peach passed out on the sand.
NARRATOR Oh dear. did Peach just pass out? Should I call someone? Oh, wait, I see Queen Poi headed this way. Good. She will most certainly make sure Peach finds her way safely to bed.
QUEEN POI Peach. Peach! Wake up Peach. Are you okay?
PEACH (Mumbling and muttering away). Wha? Oh, hey. Hi there Queenie.
QUEEN POI Not you, too! I hate that name.
PEACH I'm sorry Your Royal Highness. (giggles and hiccups).
QUEEN POI That's not much better.They both laugh. Are you okay Peach? Why are you sleeping out here?
PEACH Well, Poi, I don't think sleepin' is quite the right word, you know what I mean?
QUEEN POI Did you faint? Are you sick?
PEACH You're gettin' closer I reckon. It's the kinda faintin' brought about by 100 too many Bintangs if ya know what I mean. (laughs and hiccups).
QUEEN POI Have you been crying?
PEACH What? No, of course not.
QUEEN POI Tell me what's wrong Peach.
PEACH Oh, it's just the same old same old. I drank a few too many Bintangs and came out for some fresh air before heading to bed but the moon and ocean got me thinking about L....Loth...
QUEEN POI Lothario.
PEACH (wailing) Yes! Lothario. I miss him so much. Did you know he could sail. Yes, he was a no-hoper who lucked out with a job at the prison. But he was my no-hoper and I had to watch him die in my arms. And now here I am, in paradise, and I miss those puppy dog eyes and his willingness to do anything for me for little more than a quick rub out behind the toilet block.
QUEEN POI You're so romantic Peach!
PEACH I know, I know. I'm just not the kind of person to blow smoke up everyone's ass. Just because I say it as I see it, doesn't mean I don't feel as much as everyone else. Lothario was my man and I miss him!
QUEEN POI You know, Peach I might have some good -
PEACH But enough about me. Why are you out here collectin' strays? Can't sleep?
QUEEN POI I have a lot weighing on my mind Peach. I know The Wench installed me on my throne, but these are my people, this is my island, and the Whispering Gods are my gods. I can't let The Wench send tourists cruising around Whispering Gods Point but I have absolutely no idea how to stop her.
PEACH What's so special about that place anyway?
QUEEN POI Whispering God's Point is the seat of our gods. We have many gods and they wander around, keeping an eye on all of us and the island. They answer our prayers and protect us from evil. Whispering Gods Point is where they meet. It is the seat of their power, the nexus from which all love and magic emerge. It cannot be sullied by human presence - especially the presence of people who do not know them.
PEACH Well now, that is a pretty story Poi but that religion stuff is all just stories. You know that.
QUEEN POI You are wrong Peach. There is real power in the Whispering Gods and it is an awesome power. Our gods travel the land quietly but they are strong and they will do what they have to do to protect themselves and their people.
PEACH Wait a minute. I think I am just picking up what you are puttin' down. You're not worried about the gods, are you? You are worried about the tourists!
QUEEN POI Yes, Peach, yes! PEACH But gods aren't real. They can't do anything. It's all fine.
QUEEN POI Our Whispering Gods are very real Peach, and I am terrified of how they will react when they are disturbed at the Point.
PEACH But what can they do Poi?
QUEEN POI They are the masters of the wind, the rain, the earth, the air, and the water, Peach. There is no limit to what they can do if they are disturbed and angered.
PEACH Now that I hear you, I'm startin' to get a few chills up and down my spine too.
QUEEN POI The danger is real Peach, but I can't get through to The Wench. She just won't listen.
PEACH I tell you what Poi. Let me speak to The Wench. Sometimes I think we have a special somethin' somethin'. Perhaps I can get her see how shipwrecks and drownings are bad for business. That's how you get to her you know. Always show her the bottom line. I'll go now. She jumps up and starts to run back to the resort.
QUEEN POI (calling after her) Wait, Peach! I have something important to tell you! PEACH (calling back) Tell me later. The cruise is tomorrow. I gotta nip this in the bud and come up with something even better for the guests.
Scene 2 _______
NARRATOR Oh dear, Queen Poi was so close to easing Peach's pain, but I have a funny feeling Peach is going to find out Lothario is still alive very soon indeed... In the meantime I don't like her chances in trying to sway The Wench away from sending tourists to Whispering God's Point. What do you think?
The Wench is sitting alone in her office quietly counting money. Peach runs in and promptly spews all over the desk.
THE WENCH One million three hundred and one, one million three hundred and two, one million three hundred and - What the! Peach! Gross!
NARRATOR Oooooh, that's not good...
PEACH Sorry Wench. That wasn't supposed to happen.
THE WENCH This is disgusting! Clean this up immediately. And then clean yourself up, you're a mess!
PEACH Yeah, not my best work.
THE WENCH I'm just glad Poi currency is plastic like Australia's. Cleaning it is going to be easy.
PEACH I'll get right on it Wench.
THE WENCH Oh, no. You are not touching the cash. I will deal with that. You clean up the rest of it though. There better be no stains on the carpet and if I get even a whiff of that sour Bintang cocktail you just sprayed everywhere I am coming after you, d'ya hear me Peach?
PEACH On it Wench! The Wench starts to gingerly stash the money into a bag, gagging a lot. Hey Wench, before you go...
THE WENCH I am not staying to listen to anything you have to say Peach. This office is bloody toxic right now.
PEACH I know Wench. I said I'm sorry!
THE WENCH Sorry don't pay for the carpet cleaning Peach.
PEACH Wench, I need to speak to you about the cruise tomorrow night.
THE WENCH That can wait till morning. This cleaning can't.
PEACH No, seriously Wench. I was chatting to Queen Poi -
THE WENCH That bleeding heart!
PEACH Wench, this is serious now. We can't go to Whispering Gods Point tomorrow night. It is dangerous.
THE WENCH I can't believe you have been spooked by all that hoodoo schmoodoo Peach. You're normally so down to earth. Religion is just a noose wolves use to lead sheep around with.
PEACH No Wench. I think there is more to this than that. Queen Poi seems genuinely scared.
THE WENCH Queenie jumps at her own shadow in a dark hallway.
PEACH This is different Wench. Poi isn't scared for herself. She is scared for the guests. She really believes something bad is going to happen. Let's do something else. We can still do a fantastic Golden Wedding ceremony on the beach.
THE WENCH Peach, I just invested in one of the world's biggest superyachts. Do you have any idea how much they cost? How do you think I am going make that money back if it just sits in the cove all the time? People don't pay the mega bucks for floating restaurant which never leaves the berth.
PEACH I know, but Wench I really think there is something behind Poi's worries.
THE WENCH Listen, Peach. There is something I have been meaning to tell you. You are important to me and I know you haven't been happy since coming to the island.
PEACH It's not the island Wench. Poiland is beautiful.
THE WENCH I know. You haven't been the same since Lothario died, have you?
PEACH Tru dat! THE WENCH Well Peach, the superyacht and the cruises are all part of a secret surprise I have been cooking up for you. But if I can't use the yacht, I can't give you the surprise.
PEACH What surprise?
THE WENCH Are you absolutely certain Lothario died during the prison break.
PEACH He died right there in my arms Wench. You know that. Why are you bringing this up now? I'm too tired and drunk to play your games.
THE WENCH It's not a game Peach. Lothario was a sea boat captain wasn't he?
PEACH Yeeeees. Under all his loser hopelessness, that man had skillz.
THE WENCH What would you say if I told you Lothario isn't dead.
PEACH That's not funny Wench.
THE WENCH I'm not joking Peach. Lothario is alive, and he is going to captain the superyacht.
PEACH WHAT!!!!! Peach goes to run out the door but The Wench stops her.
THE WENCH Hey, where do you think you're going.
PEACH (Calling back) To find Lothario.
THE WENCH (Yelling) You better get my office back into pristine order before tomorrow morning or I will make sure you never see that man again, d'ya hear me Peach? Do you hear me?????
Scene 3 _______
NARRATOR Oh dear. That didn't really go to plan, did it? Have you ever seen Peach's face glow like that before, though? She radiated stronger than that beautiful, almost full moon up in the sky! A nice bubble bath with all of that dirty money should cheer The Wench up too. It is way past my bedtime now but it seems there are still people awake. And what a surprise. It is that lovely old couple, Lukey and Didi. What amazing stamina for Octogenarians. I am starting to think they are not as old as they keep telling people they are... Oh, hear comes Queen Poi. She will steer them to the bed so that we can all get a little bit of sleep before the big event tomorrow night.
Queen Poi comes up from the beach and spies Lukey and Didi in the foyer huddled in deep conversation.
QUEEN POI Well hello there. If it isn't our Golden Anniversary couple. What are you two still doing up. Don't you need your beauty sleep before the big celebrations tomorrow night?
DEVIL WOMAN Oh Lukey, look. It's Queen Poi of Poiland! Imagine. The two of us in the presence of Royalty! Who would have thought?
LUCIFER Indeed Didi. Your majesty.
QUEEN POI Oh no need to bow. Do you need help up from that curtsey ma'am.
DEVIL WOMAN Actually, yes I do...
LUCIFER Your Queenship, my name is Lukey, and this silly woman stuck in a half sit is my wife Didi.
QUEEN POI Don't listen to him Didi. That was one of the deepest curtseys I have ever seen and you did it so elegantly.
DEVIL WOMAN Oh, aren't you just so kind my lady.
QUEEN POI Please, both of you, just call me Poi. We don't really stand on airs in Poiland.
DEVIL WOMAN Why, Lukey, isn't she just the sweetest thing! I never imagined I would be on first name terms with a real Queen!
LUCIFER Indeed. We are greatly honoured Que...er Poi.
QUEEN POI That's betters. Now, perhaps you should both have some rest. It is going to be a big day tomorrow and you don't want to be snoozing when you should be renewing your vows!
DEVIL WOMAN She is right Lukey. We should hit the hay as they say. (chortles at her own joke).
LUCIFER Before we go, your eminience -
QUEEN POI Poi...
LUCIFER Oh, yes, Poi. We would love to invite you to our nuptials tomorrow night. I can't imagine any memory more magnificent than to have the proceedings overseen by a person of your stature.
DEVIL WOMAN Oh, yes. Do come!
QUEEN POI That is a lovely invitation, but I'm afraid I can't attend.
DEVIL WOMAN Oh no. Why not? There will be food and drink and other guests. It will be a blast as you young ones say.
QUEEN POI I am sure you will have a great time, but it would be difficult for me to attend.
LUCIFER Why?
DEVIL WOMAN Lukey don't be rude... Of course someone as important as a Queen can't attend the wedding of commoners like us.
QUEEN POI Oh no, that's not it. In fact, maybe it's a good thing I ran into you tonight. I wanted to ask how wedded your are (pardon the pun) to the cruise.
DEVIL WOMAN Oh deary, we looooove the superyacht idea. It is just the icing on top of the wedding cake, isn't it Lukey.
LUCIFER Indeed it is Didi. I can't imagine anything more perfect.
QUEEN POI The thing is, Whispering Gods Point is sacred to the people of Poiland and I am very worried how our god's will react to you being there.
DEVIL WOMAN Oh dear, that does sound worrisome, doesn't it Lukey? (whispering) I think you need to do that hoodoo voodoo you do so well on her Lucifer.
LUCIFER I think you are right Devil Woman.
then some voodoo music under the next section
LUCIFER I think you make an important point Que...Poi. And I think this makes is even more important you are there with us, making sure we respect your gods and do nothing to rouse their ire. This is the kind of care and responsibility that sits you in the upper eschelons of royal history my dear. Caring for your people, your gods, AND your guests. You are a true inspiration.
QUEEN POI (dreamy tone) Oh, yes, well I was kind of hoping -
LUCIFER Imagine what out bridge group will say when they hear not only of our incredibly romantic vows renewal, but also that the Queen of Poiland was there in person to interceded and placate their tribal gods and celebrate our Golden Wedding anniversary.
QUEEN POI Oh, yeeeeees... Lucifer clicks his fingers
LUCIFER Come along now Didi. My work here is done and Poi is right. We need to get our rest. Especially if we have both royalty AND ancient gods attending our ceremony! Goodnight Poi.
DEVIL WOMAN Yes, goodnight my dear Poi. Sweet Dreams.
Poi walks off and the "save us" lines from 'Man play faintly in the background With The Hex'
DEVIL WOMAN Oh Lukey I just keep getting more and more excited by the events in store tomorrow night.
LUCIFER So do I Didi. So do I.
Scene 4 _______
NARRATOR And so, as the moon falls slowly into the sea all is quiet again in our beautiful tropical paradise. Wait! What is all that ruckus. Shhhhh, people are trying to sleep! Peach is running along the jetty towards the superyacht.
PEACH Lothario! My love! My loser! Lotharioooooo! Lothario sticks his head over the bow.
LOTHARIO Peach? Peach, is that you? They run into each other's arms and sing 'Summer Nights'.
ACT IV ______ Scene 1 _______
NARRATOR: Wow, what a night was had by all last night! There were a few bleary eyes as the sun rose today (I'm talking about you Peach!), but the fresh clear morning has cleaned out the cobwebs and our motley crew have been beavering away, preparing for this evening's big event. Right now frocks are being donned and ties are being straightened and delectables are being loaded onto the super yacht. Oh, but look here, Sam and Ralph have already come downstairs and don't they look suave for a pair of crotchety old men? It's a bit early though. The bar isn't open because Peach is setting things up on the yacht so I guess they'll just have to relax in the foyer. I am sure Stardust Miss will make them comfortable while they wait...
The Sheriff and Deputy stumble out of the lifts looking a bit lost as they are ready way too early. Stardust Miss takes pity on them and attends on them.
SHERIFF Right then Deputy, let's head to the boat.
DEPUTY Uh, Sheriff, we're a bit early. It says here on the invitation we can't board for another hour yet sir.
SHERIFF What! So why did we get ready so early? What are we going to do in the meantime,huh?
DEPUTY Sorry sir. I did try to tell you, but you seemed a bit...overzealous?
SHERIFF Try harder next time Deputy.
DEPUTY Yes sir...
SHERIFF Alright, I guess it is time to dip into that stipend for a drink at the bar.
Stardust Miss has observed their agitation and comes over to assist.
STARDUST MISS Hello Sam, hello Ralph. How are you both today? My don't you look fine indeed. All gussied up for the cruise tonight I see.
SHERIFF Indeed Stardust Miss. It seems we're a bit early though, eh Sam?
DEPUTY Indeed, Sher...Ralph.
SHERIFF Not to worry though. We'll just pass the time at the bar by the pool. It's a glorious afternoon and not too hot.
STARDUST MISS Ah, I'm sorry but the bar is closed a the moment.
SHERIFF Closed? Why the dickens can you close the poolside bar at a resort in the middle of the day? This is prime cocktail sipping time I would have thought.
STARDUST MISS Oh, I know, it's highly unusual but our bar manager, Peach, is over at the super yacht preparing for the celebrations this evening.
DEPUTY Ah, that makes sense Ralph.
SHERIFF So what are we supposed to do with ourselves for the next hour Sam? Twiddle our thumbs?
STARDUST MISS I think I can offer you something better than that gentlemen. We have some parlour games over in the lounge area next to the pool. Perhaps a game of chess would be a nice way to while away the hour? I could also whip you both up a fruit smoothie. I am no stranger to a blender, believe me!
SHERIFF Chess! Pfft.
DEPUTY That sound like a fine idea Stardust Miss, isn't it Ralph? Thank you.
SHERIFF Yes, yes, might as well. I'm gonna show you whose boss on that chess board Sam.
DEPUTY I already know Ralph.
STARDUST MISS Alright. You head over there and get yourself set up. I be back with your smoothies in a jiffy. The Sheriff and Deputy walk over to the lounge and start unpacking the game.
SHERIFF Do you even know how to play Chess Deputy?
DEPUTY No sir, but it can't be that hard to learn can it?
SHERIFF Oh dear. Change of plan. Lets just play draughts. That ought to be simple enough for you.
DEPUTY Yes sir. Whatever you think is best. Oh, Stardust Miss is coming back. Sheriff your gun is showing!
SHERIFF What? Oh, my button came undone. There. Fixed.
DEPUTY Why do you need your gun tonight anyway Sheriff? It's not like we are going to shoot anyone. Are we...?
SHERIFF No, no. It's about crowd control more than anything. You know that old couple we ran into the other day?
DEPUTY Lukey and Didi?
SHERIFF Yes. You know how we said they looked familiar?
DEPUTY Yes...
SHERIFF Well I figured it out. They're not Lukey and Didi. They are escapees from Sing Sing.
STARDUST MISS (under her breath) What?
DEPUTY No! Are they in disguise Sheriff?
SHERIFF I believe so Deputy.
STARDUST MISS (under her breath) Sheriff? Deputy? What is going on?
DEPUTY So who do you think they really are?
STARDUST MISS (whispering) Yes, who are those dodgy devils?
SHERIFF Well, everything was a bit crazy on the night of the fire at Sing Sing as you know...
STARDUST MISS (under her breath) Wait a minute! That's the Warden and one of the officers from Sing Sing. What is going on? Nobody is who they say they are!
DEPUTY Oh, what a night that was! I never want to live through anything like that again. We were lucky to escape with our lives. Unlike poor Lothario. May he rest in peace.
SHERIFF May he rest in peace.
DEPUTY So you were saying you recognised...?
SHERIFF I am pretty certain Didi is actually Devil Woman -
STARDUST MISS Eek! Devil Woman?
DEPUTY Now that you mention it...
SHERIFF And - now don't go calling me crazy, y'hear - but I reckon Lukey might be that hot number Lucy...
STARDUST MISS Lucifer! OMG I have to find CP. We have to get out of here! Stardust Miss plonks the smoothies down and runs off.
DEPUTY Thank you, Star
SHERIFF Well that was rude. She just did a dump and run. Look, my smoothie has spilt on the table. I think I am going to have to lodge a complaint.
DEPUTY Never mind that Sheriff. More importantly, do you think she heard what we were talking about? Our plan for surprising them all tonight are shot if she did...
SHERIFF No, no. I'm sure she didn't hear a thing. At the rate she was moving all Stardust Miss would be hearing is the rush of wind whistling by.
DEPUTY But why was she in such a rush?
SHERIFF Who cares? I was telling you I reckon Lukey is Lucy from Sing Sing.
DEPUTY But Lucy was a woman and Lukey is a man.
SHERIFF That is so 20th century of you Deputy. Gender binaries don't exist anymore.
DEPUTY Whoa! Who are you and where did you put the Sheriff? I didn't know you were woke sir. You hide it so well.
SHERIFF Shut up you fool. I may be stuck in my ways, but some stuff just is what it is and I am not too old to see the writing on the wall. Enough of this though. What do you think about my supposition?
DEPUTY Well, it's a bit of a wild card, but maybe I see it. It would make sense on some level. Devil Woman and Lucy did share a cell in Sing Sing...
SHERIFF Yes they did, didn't they?
DEPUTY Well this just upped the ante then Sheriff. Let me see if I've got this. Tonight on the ship the two of us are going to try and arrest - Stardust Miss, Peach, Princess Poi, The Wench, and now Lucy and Devil Woman - That's one, two, three, four, five, six people.
SHERIFF I think that's what we're facing Deputy.
DEPUTY Maybe I should bring my gun too...
SHERIFF I think that might be a jolly fine idea son.
Scene 2 _______
NARRATOR Guns! Guns? Why are there guns on this idyllic little island of Poiland? White man ways bringing death and destruction as it always does. So sad. Especially on such a lovely afternoon. Lets go outside and enjoy that light breeze as the sun starts dropping down to the horizon. Oh, look, I think I see Peach and Lothario on the bridge of the superyacht. Let's take a peek and hear what those two recently reunited lovebirds are whispering in each other's ears. It's not polite to eavesdrop...but it's fun!
Peach and Lothario are up on the bridge of the superyacht catching up and canoodling. Lothario is trying to plot his naval charts.
PEACH Death becomes you Lothario.
LOTHARIO Huh?
PEACH Well, yes siree, you done took me to the end of the world too many times to count last night. Lothario by name, Lothario by action too!
LOTHARIO Is my Peach a bit poached, eh?
PEACH Mmmm. You wanna dip your wick in my bain marie and see if the temperature is still ripe for more cookin' darl?
LOTHARIO Oh, you saucy wench!
PEACH Don't call me The Wench! They both shiver and laugh.
LOTHARIO But seriously Peach, you need to unwrap yourself from around me. I need to plot the course for tonight's cruise to Whispering God's Point.
PEACH We shouldn't be going there Lothario. It's a sacred spot for the People of Poi. Queen Poi is very distressed. Is there anywhere else we can take Lukey and Didi. They'll never know.
LOTHARIO I've only been here a day Peach. I don't know the Island at all, but let's take a look and see what the map tells us.
PEACH My hero, loser Lothario.
LOTHARIO You say the sweetest things Peach.
BOTH NOT! (they laugh).
LOTHARIO I can see what looks like a nice little cove to the West of the island. It's a bit exposed though. Let me check what is happening with the weather tonight. He starts fiddling with gadgets which beep
PEACH Oh, that sounds perfect!
LOTHARIO Oh sorry, no go.
PEACH Why not?
LOTHARIO There seems to be a squall developing and it will hit that cove right around the time scheduled for the Wedding vows renewal. It's Whispering God's Point or nothing I'm afraid.
PEACH Bugger! Y'know. I've been doin' some thinking. After the cruise there is gonna be a lot of angry local peeps stirrin' up trouble because of this little jaunt. It ain't gonna be the same tropical paradise it has been.
LOTHARIO Probably.
PEACH Well, here we are, you and I, on this insanely luxurious superyacht and you are the only person on the island who can captain it, right?
LOTHARIO Right.
PEACH I reckon, once we drop the guests back on land, we hoist anchor and blow this racket. This boat is huge. You could take us anywhere in the world. We could just sail around together forever.
LOTHARIO It takes a lot of money to keep one of these things afloat.
PEACH Tru dat! But y'know what?
LOTHARIO What? 45. Created using Celtx
PEACH I saw The Wench self pleasuring over a ton of moolah last night and I know where she put it...in fact I spewed up all over it! (laughs)
LOTHARIO I would expect nothing less of you, my Peach.
PEACH Tru dat! Anyhoo, when I see The Wench coming aboard I will run back to the resort, grab her stash and hide it somewhere. Then we can put my plan in action. By the time the sun rises in the morning and The Wench realises what has happened we will be long gone. Free and clear and loaded!
LOTHARIO Aye, aye, capitan!
PEACH Woohoo!
They both laugh and then settle into a long, lusty kiss.
Scene 3 _______
NARRATOR Oh, my. Do you think Peach and Lothario will do it? More importantly, will they get away with it? You have to be quick to get one over on The Wench, but Peach is pretty slippery, so who knows? Oh, here comes Stardust Miss running up the gang plank. She looks scared. Let's listen in. Maybe this is something we all need to hear? Stardust Miss runs up to Celestial Prince who is preparing a buffet table on deck.
STARDUST MISS (breathlessly) CP! CP! oh CP we have to get out of here right now!
CELESTIAL PRINCE Stardust Miss. Slow down. Take a seat to get your breath back. I just need to finish setting up this lobster tower and then I'll be all yours.
STARDUST MISS CP we don't have time for lobsters. You have to listen to me. We have to run. Now!
CELESTIAL PRINCE One more big red... (he places the last lobster). Now, my love, come here. (gives her a big hug). So what has got you so discombobulated? Let Celestial Prince be your knight in shining armour and save the day.
STARDUST MISS Oh CP, if only it were that simple.
CELESTIAL PRINCE It always is my love. We come out on top every time. So tell me, what has got you literally running scared? What has happened?
STARDUST MISS It's dreadful CP. You know that pair of geeking blokes who arrived on the island in the last drop off?
CELESTIAL PRINCE Sam and Ralph? Yeah, they are odd, but seem pretty harmless.
STARDUST MISS They are not harmless CP. Anything but harmless!
CELESTIAL PRINCE What are you talking about Stardust Miss. What has happened.
STARDUST MISS I overheard them talking just now and you won't believe who they really are!
CELESTIAL PRINCE What do you mean?
STARDUST MISS They aren't really Sam and Ralph. They are in disguise.
CELESTIAL PRINCE Then who are they?
STARDUST MISS They're from Sing Sing CP! It is the Warden and one of the Officers. The tough one!
CELESTIAL PRINCE No way! What are they doing here?
STARDUST MISS I heard them call each other Sheriff and Deputy. I reckon the long arm of the law has come to Poiland CP. I reckon they are hear to arrest us all and take us back to Sing Sing. I reckon they are gonna throw away the key this time. No time off for good colour coordination for any of us this time.
CELESTIAL PRINCE No! How did they find us?
STARDUST MISS I don't know. But CP, I am pretty sure The Warden...or Sheriff...has a gun.
CELESTIAL PRINCE Why do you think that?
STARDUST MISS I saw a bulge under his jacket.
CELESTIAL PRINCE Oh my, this is not good Stardust Miss.
STARDUST MISS It gets worse CP.
CELESTIAL PRINCE How can things be worse?
STARDUST MISS Oh, CP, those two aren't the only ones who arrived in disguise.
CELESTIAL PRINCE What? What is going on around here?
STARDUST MISS I know. It's crazy!
CELESTIAL PRINCE So who else is pretending to be someone they aren't?
STARDUST MISS You won't believe this either.
CELESTIAL PRINCE Hit me with your best shot Stardust Miss.
STARDUST MISS You know that cute old couple, the ones we are organising this cruise for?
CELESTIAL PRINCE Lukey and Didi, our Golden Anniversary couple. No! Don't tell me...
STARDUST MISS Yes, CP. They are not who they say they are.
CELESTIAL PRINCE So who are they? Anyone we know.
STARDUST MISS Yes, CP. We know them. They're... (gulps in fright)
CELESTIAL PRINCE Out with it Stardust Miss. Whoever they are, we will face them together. Who are Lukey and Didi really?
STARDUST MISS Oh CP... It's Lucifer -
CELESTIAL PRINCE What?
STARDUST MISS And Devil Woman!
CELESTIAL PRINCE Nooooo! STARDUST MISS OMG CP. We have to get out of here now. There is no happy ending for any of us after tonight.
CELESTIAL PRINCE You are right Stardust Miss. We have no choice. We have to run, but how are we going to get away?
STARDUST MISS I don't care CP. We just have to go. Now!
CELESTIAL PRINCE No, wait. I have an idea. It's pretty wild, but...
STARDUST MISS What CP? What can we do?
CELESTIAL PRINCE So, I just found out Lothario is alive -
STARDUST MISS What?
CELESTIAL PRINCE Yes, and he is here.
STARDUST MISS On Poiland?
CELESTIAL PRINCE Even better. He is here on this superyacht.
STARDUST MISS What? Does Peach know?
CELESTIAL PRINCE Yes. They had a pretty noisy reunion last night, I believe. (chuckles suggestively) So he is the captain of this yacht. Can you believe it?
STARDUST MISS I didn't know he actually had any real skills.
CELESTIAL PRINCE Nobody did. But apparently he is a captain and The Wench hired him to drive this yacht.
STARDUST MISS I think they call it sailing CP, not driving.
CELESTIAL PRINCE Ah yes, sailing. Anyway, what if we could convince him to sail us away after the cruise tonight?
STARDUST MISS I don't think Peach would let us steal him away so soon after being reunited...
CELESTIAL PRINCE She can come with. She hasn't been happy here. All she wants to do is be with her loser lover. I don't get it, but the heart wants what it wants as they say...
STARDUST MISS Tru dat! just look at us (they laugh). But seriously, this is a great idea and you're right. Peach will be in like Flynn. She always loves a big stick it to the man - especially when the man is The Wench!
CELESTIAL PRINCE Don't we all!
STARDUST MISS Okay, CP. It's a plan. All we have to do is make it through the ceremony tonight, drop everyone back on shore and then skeedaddle. Is Peach on board? I'll tee it up with her now. I can't wait to see her face. She will be in her element.
CELESTIAL PRINCE Yes, she's trying to create a champagne glass tower in the main salon I think.
STARDUST MISS On my way! Hey, CP, what about the gun?
CELESTIAL PRINCE I doubt if it was a gun Stardust Miss. More likely a wedding present.
STARDUST MISS Oh but...
CELESTIAL PRINCE Go and speak to Peach. She's good at this stuff. She will work out the deets to get us through the night and out of here.
STARDUST MISS Tru dat! Well here we go, CP. Another crazy adventure on the horizon.
CELESTIAL PRINCE Stay strong, Stardust Miss. We will survive. We always do!
STARDUST MISS The power of love!
CELESTIAL PRINCE The power of love, my love.
Stardust Miss leaves to find Peach and Celestial Prince keeps working, humming 'The Power of (The Huey Lewis and the News version) or Love' singing an original song if you want to here).
Scene 4 _______
NARRATOR Wow! I never saw that coming, did you? Won't Peach be surprised when she hears Stardust Miss's plan? Oh, look out. It looks like the guests are starting to arrive! I'm almost jumping out of my skin in anticipation for tonight.
The guests all converge at the gang plank at the same time.
LUCIFER Well hello everybody. What a timely bunch we all are!
SHERIFF Some of us are a bit too timely. Sam and I had to fill in time playing draughts of all things!
DEPUTY You won Ralph, so stop complaining.
SHERIFF A refried chip next to limp lettuce could beat you Sam. Never seen anybody so bad at games as you are.
DEVIL WOMAN Now, now boys. Let's leave the fireworks for later in the evening, hey? Some random chuckles. The Wench starts to get on board but Didi stops her. Ah Wench, You need to take your shoes off. No tootsies on the poop deck as they say.
DEPUTY Who says that?
QUEEN POI (in her dreamy voice) Oh everyone says that everywhere, everyday, everytime...
THE WENCH What are you prattling on about Queenie?
QUEEN POI (dreamy) Me? Nothing. It is such a beautiful sun set isn't it. The sky is on fire...
SHERIFF Can we not mention fires please.
DEPUTY Do you need a hand Wench? It looks like your struggling a bit there.
THE WENCH Whose bloody stupid idea was this no shoes business and why wasn't I told before I put on these ridiculous stilletoes with a thousand bloody clasps?
QUEEN POI (dreamy) Yellow sky at night a sailors delight... How perfect for a Golden Wedding anniversary at Whispering Gods Point...
LUCIFER Perfect indeed. The sound of whispering starts to emerge. From a distance we hear Peach and Stardust Miss squeeling.
STARDUST MISS OMG Peach. How amazing!
PEACH Tru dat! We've always been on the same page. They laugh and squeel again.
THE WENCH What are those two lay abouts up to and why aren't they out hear tending the guests? Peach! Stardust Miss! Get out here on the double!
PEACH & STARDUST MISS Coming Wench!
LUCIFER Oh they sound like they're having fun. We are doing fine. We know they are there and that is all that matters, isn't that right Didi?
DEVIL WOMAN Indeed Lukey. Indeed.
DEPUTY There you go Wench. They're off. There isn't a can of Glen 20 in the shoe box is there?
THE WENCH Are you inferring my feet stink young man?
SHERIFF (scoffs) Young! Now that is funny.
DEPUTY Watch it old man.
SHERIFF I think it's you who better watch yourself Dep...er Sam.
DEVIL WOMAN Oh my, Lukey, I think the guests are getting a bit tetchy, don't you?
LUCIFER Not to worry. The champagne will calm everyone down.
THE WENCH Hey Poi, what's up with you. You are acting wierd. Why aren't you arcing up about your Whispering Gods Point and how sacred it is?
QUEEN POI (dreamy voice) It's such a lovely night for renewing vows...
DEVIL WOMAN Now Wench, lets leave her Majesty to enjoy the night, eh? Heavy is the head that wears the crown, but for tonight let her shake off those shackles and be free of care.
LUCIFER Yes, Queen Poi is giving herself up to us tonight. As are you all. All of you should relax and enjoy.
DEVIL WOMAN Speaking of enjoyment, Lukey why don't we go ahead and check that everything is perfect for our guests.
LUCIFER Yes Didi, let's go. I can't wait to see how the champagne fountain is working.
DEVIL WOMAN See you all up on deck.
LUCIFER Do you have the poison?
DEVIL WOMAN Yes. Right here. Oh, and here comes Peach and Stardust Miss so I should be able to tip it in the champagne without anyone noticing.
LUCIFER Good. You go ahead. I will distract her. Peach! My dear. I think The Wench needs your help on the gang plank.
PEACH Stardust Miss, I'm gonna leave her to you. I have quick errand to run. Wink Wink.
STARDUST MISS I'm on it Peach. Be quick though, or people will start to ask questions.
PEACH Back in a flash my sista from another mista! They both giggle. The sound of whispering gets louder.
ACT V _____ Scene 1
NARRATOR Well, here we all are. The golden sun just sank below the horizon and the moon is already plump in her fecund fullness, rising gracefully towards her zenith. This magnificent superyacht has set sail with all aboard and it looks like the party is about to get started. I do wonder what that strange whispering sound is. It feels rather ominous to me...
Everyone is gathered on the poop deck, and the champagne fountain is flowing freely. Celestial Prince is tending the buffet table, Peach is pouring drinks and Stardust Miss is organising the proceedings. The whispering is in the background.
DEVIL WOMAN Drink up everybody, drink up. There's plenty of champagne to go around. Let's all get in the mood for this little shindig, hey.
LUCIFER Indeed. Peach, make sure everybody has a very full glass. Let's do a round of toasts. The staff too. We want everybody to enjoy themselves tonight, not just us, eh Didi?
DEVIL WOMAN No, no Lukey. Everyone grab a glass. Let's make a toast.
PEACH I'm on it. Don't mind if I do have one myself too. I like how you two roll. Bottoms up! She skulls a glass before anybody can tell her not too. Hey Stardust, here's one for you and can you give this to Celestial Prince over there.
CELESTIAL PRINCE No thanks Peach. I never drink when I'm on the knives. OH and S and all that.
STARDUST MISS I think I'll hold off too Peach. I'm in charge of passenger safety so it won't look good if I am slopping about all over the poop myself. Not much help to anyone then, hey.
THE WENCH Finally, someone actually doing their job. You just watch yourself, Peach, cos you know I'm watchin' you and I don't think I like what I see.
DEVIL WOMAN Sam, Ralph, here's yours. Drink up. Drink up.
DEPUTY Perhaps not just yet...Ralph?
LUCIFER Nonsense. We'll get you another glass for the toasts. Let's get a bit happy first eh?
SHERIFF One glass won't hurt Sam. Go ahead. Stardust Miss clinks a glass for silence
STARDUST MISS Alright, does everyone have their champagne? Good. We are here tonight to celebrate the Golden Wedding Anniversary of this...elderly couple...They have brought us together on this superyacht to renew their vows. Everyone claps politely The ceremony is scheduled for a bit later, when the moon is high in the sky, but in the meantime we have organised some entertainment. The amazing Queen Poi is going to delight us with one of her traditional dances. Everyone claps and cheers enthusiastically. Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to introduce Queen Poi!
THE WENCH Where is she?
STARDUST MISS Poi? That was your cue, Poi!
NARRATOR That's not like our Queen Poi at all! She has never missed an entrance whenever she has been booked to dance...
PEACH Oh, I see her. There she is, up on the bow. She looks like she's prayin' or somethin'.
DEPUTY What is that noise? It sounds like a crowd of people whispering.
SHERIFF That's probably why it's called Whispering God's Point.
DEPUTY Oh yeah. How cool!
SHERIFF Oh brother.
DEVIL WOMAN (Whispering) Lucifer, I think you went a bit hard on the compliance spell you put on Poi.
LUCIFER Maybe. I don't care. I have had enough of this. She bores me. They all bore me. Has everyone drunk the champagne?
DEVIL WOMAN All of the guests have. I don't think Poi has had any though, or the lovers.
LUCIFER Fine. I can deal with those two later. The ones who have drunk are already dead.
DEVIL WOMAN They are getting antsy over Poi though.
LUCIFER I am over that whiny woman and her ancient gods. I can't be bothered with this farce anymore. It is time for her to take a swim. Up you get Poi, that's it, now head for the railings, up and over...
A loud splash as Queen Poi falls into the water. The whispering rises to a rage.
STARDUST MISS Poi!
THE WENCH What just happened?
SHERIFF Did you see that? She just jumped overboard. How odd?
CELESTIAL PRINCE Somebody throw a life buoy! Lucifer laughs over all the hubbub
LUCIFER No need for a life buoy Celestial Prince. Queen Poi is dead, as are you all!
STARDUST MISS Lucifer!
DEVIL WOMAN That's right Stardust Miss. He's Lucifer and I am Devil Woman. Do you recognise me now?
THE WENCH What the hell is going on here?
LUCIFER Hell is right Wench. You are in hell and I am your lord of Darkness. Queen Poi is already in my underworld and all of you will be joining me there for my pleasure before the night is over.
NARRATOR Oh my. This is a catastrophe! Queen Poi has drowned and everyone is in terrible trouble. How will they get out of this? Oh, and here comes more trouble! A strange whirlpool is forming where Poi fell in the water. Will somebody please shut up that whispering? It is all getting so out of hand!
PEACH Look at the water. Is that a whirlpool
THE WENCH What? I think I'm going to faint. I can't take much more of this excitement. Somebody turn that whispering off!
STARDUST MISS I see a glow in the water...
CELESTIAL PRINCE That glow is Queen Poi! And she is rising into the air!
PEACH Whoa, this is some really dippy shit man. Maybe I shouldn't have had that champagne.
STARDUST MISS It's not the champagne Peach. CP and I haven't had any and we are seeing it too. An angelic sound as Poi rises into the sky and then and explosion. A voice rings out... 'LUCIFER!' and a storm erupts.
LUCIFER I'm here you doddering old deities. Come and get me, if you can!
SHERIFF Alright, I've had enough of this shit. He pulls out his gun. Alright everyone, put your hands in the air. I am the new Sheriff in town and you're all now in my custody for the illegal egress of a correctional facility.
STARDUST MISS I told you he had a gun CP!
THE WENCH What is he talking about?
DEPUTY You're under arrest for escaping from Sing Sing. The Sheriff starts coughing and Devil Woman laughs.
DEVIL WOMAN Put your gun away Sheriff, you aren't arresting anybody. You hear that cough. That is the last of your breaths escaping your body as the poison does it's job. Deputy, Peach and The Wench start to cough too.
THE WENCH I have no idea what is going on right now, but I know when it is time to skeedaddle and that time is now.
SHERIFF Stay still or I'll shoot. He coughs and the gun goes off. The Wench screams and dies.
DEPUTY You just killed her Sheriff! (cough)
SHERIFF Oops. (coughing).
LUCIFER (laughing) Well, thank you Sheriff. Mighty kind of you to speed her passing. Now, if you could just aim that little boom boom at Stardust Miss and Celestial Prince I would be mighty indebted. It would save me a bit of work.
SHERIFF No on your li.... The Sheriff falls to the floor, dead. The gun clatters on the deck.
DEPUTY (coughing) Sheriff! Sheriff! Oh dear...
The Deputy splutters and dies.
PEACH (coughing) Lothario! I have to get to Lothario! Peach runs to the bridge.
LUCIFER Now let's put an end to you Whispering Gods once and for all. Touche! The sound of a light saber being activated. A furious storm and jedi swords clashing as Lucifer and the Whispering God's fight.
Scene 2 _______
NARRATOR There is so much noise I can barely hear myself think! This is a disaster. I can't see who is winning the fight. Lucifer is holding his own against the Whispering Gods, but they have those old god powers and may be able to draw on a little bit of the love magic which protects Stardust Miss and Celestial Prince...perhaps... But look at poor Peach, struggling up to the bridge. Will she make it in time to say her last goodbyes to Lothario. Perhaps they still have a bit of that love magic too? Peach falls into the bridge coughing. Lothario runs to her.
PEACH (coughing) Oh Lothario! My loser, my love! I'm done for.
LOTHARIO Peach, what's wrong?
PEACH Our plans are in the shitter my love. There is no escape for me tonight.
LOTHARIO What are you saying Peach?
PEACH Lucifer and Devil Woman are on board and have killed us all. All except you. You need to scuttle this ship Lothario, and get away on the life boat.
LOTHARIO A captain has to go down with his ship Peach.
PEACH No, run for your life!
LOTHARIO There is no life without you Peach. We may all be done for, but I will take those two mongrels with us. This time we die together my love!
PEACH My hero! Peach sings 'I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight' (or something original). She coughs and dies. Lothario starts flicking switches. An engine explosion is heard above the storm.
LOTHARIO Peach! Sink this, Lucifer!
He screams in rage and pain.
Scene 3 _______
NARRATOR What a man Lothario has turned out to be! He has come a long way from that lush in the bar, pestering Peach for a drink and a kiss, eh? Is there any greater act of bravery than to scuttle your ship to save humanity? But is it enough? I see the gods are still fighting. Oh, and poor Stardust Miss and Celestial Prince are cowering behind the bar. What on earth can they do to save themselves? Let's find out, shall we?
Celestial Prince and Stardust Miss are cowering behind the bar as the war between Lucifer and the Whispering God's continues. Suddenly a voice emerges from the storm - 'Stardust Miss, run!'
CELESTIAL PRINCE What was that?
STARDUST MISS Who cares, CP? Let's get outta here!
CELESTIAL PRINCE But how?
STARDUST MISS Do you have a lighter CP?
CELESTIAL PRINCE Here.
STARDUST MISS Pass me that bottle of Vodka.
CELESTIAL PRINCE Now is not the time to drink Stardust Miss.
STARDUST MISS I'm making a molotov cocktail CP. Rip off a piece of your apron for me.
He rips some material off his apron.
CELESTIAL PRINCE Clever girl!
STARDUST MISS Say that again and I will leave you here to fend for yourself CP!
CELESTIAL PRINCE Sorry Stardust Miss. What do you need me to do?
STARDUST MISS I stuff this rag into the bottle like this... Now, light the rag and then throw it like a girl, right at Lucifer. That should distract him long enough for us to run to the life boat.
CELESTIAL PRINCE Alright. A kiss for good luck? They kiss and a magic sound happens. A roar in the storm is heard.
STARDUST MISS Now throw it CP! He throws the molotov cocktail. We hear glass breaking and a rush of fire. The sound of a blade swooping down and then a cry from Lucifer as he is struck down. Run, CP, run! To the life boat!
LUCIFER (screaming) STARDUST MIIIIIIIISSSSSS!
A crash of thunder and then gods laughter subsiding into whispers. The glugging sound of a ship sinking.
Scene 4 _______
NARRATOR Well, I don't know what to say. I am exhausted. I'm sure you are too. It is amazing how beautiful the site of a ship on fire, sinking into the sea on the horizon, is on a clear night. Almost like a sunset at the end of the world. It is magnificent, but much death! If you look closely, you can see a little boat being pulled up onto the shore. Our star-crossed lovers appear to have survived...again. It must be that love magic I have heard so much about.
Celestial Prince has pulled the life boat up onto the beach and he and Stardust Miss flop onto the sand.
STARDUST MISS Well, CP, we made it.
CELESTIAL PRINCE By the skin of our teeth Stardust Miss.
STARDUST MISS At least our teeth do still have their skin CP. Do you think Lucifer is destroyed or are we going to have to spend the rest of our life running from him?
CELESTIAL PRINCE I don't know Stardust Miss, but the Whispering Gods definitely gave him a good old ass whipping I reckon.
STARDUST MISS They were definitely on our side CP. I don't think we would be alive now if it weren't for them.
CELESTIAL PRINCE There is power in the old gods my love.
STARDUST MISS There is power in love CP.
CELESTIAL PRINCE And we have the power!
They laugh and break into a song or we hear a refrain of 'The Power of Love'. The music dips.
NARRATOR And so, this is where our tale of love and loss ends. Two young lovers clinging to each other and to hope. A world in need of older gods to counteract the wanton destruction caused by the greed and avarice of our newer objects of worship. It is comforting to know the old gods are still out there, watching, listening, but we have to make sure we hear our original islanders when they explain what the Gods are trying to tell us. If only there was some way to give them a legal, irrevocable voice! But most important of all, it is a great relief to know that love magic is a real thing. Something we can count on in the darkest of times. And so, let's leave our lovebirds to cuddle and comfort under the full moon. Perhaps we should take the hint and give it a go ourselves? Let's try, shall we?
plays the show 'Justified Ancients of Mu Mu' out.
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