Monday, 21 January 2019

AWAKE



Eyes flutter,
Open wide.
A haze of light cascading the lens.
Confusion.
Panic.
Who? Where? Who? What? Where?
WhoWhoWhere?
HooHoo?
Hoo am I?
Where am I?
What?           What?        What is this?
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Be still. Be calm.
Don’t move.
But who?
Wait…                                            
Okay.
Think.
Think.
Think!
ThinkThinkThinkThinkThinkTHINK!
Hoo?What?HOOHOOHOO?
Nothing!

***





Eyes shift.
Left, right, up, down.
Bright.
Light.
Sunlight.
Daylight.
Morning?
Frosted French doors
Refracting, reflecting.
Roof. Walls. Bed.
Bed.
Bed. Bedroom.
Soft pillow, warm blanket.
Safe.
Where?
Where? WhereWhereHOO?
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
 Be still. Be calm
Who am I?
Think. Search. Seek.
Rummage.
Dig. Delve.
Push and pull.
Excavate!
Nothing!

***




Eyes wide,
Rapid breath.
Be still. Be calm.
Doctor.
Doctor?
Doctor.
Which doctor?
Witchdoctor?
Any doctor. A doctor. Some doctor.
Anyone will do.
Will they know?
Yes.
Will they know me?
WILL THEY KNOW ME?
Panting lungs
In/out, up/down.
Heart beating a tattoo.
WilltheywilltheywilltheywilltheyWILLTHEYKNOWWHOIAM?
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Be still. Be calm.
They will know what to do.

***




Move.
Move?
Yes
Yes. Move.
Eyes shift down.
Dips and tips and valleys,
Human form.
Attached. Connected.
Limp.
Body.
Still.
Very still.
Move.
Move.
How?
Think.
Think?
Think…
“Move”
Nothing.
Nothing?
Nothing.
Not moving… 
Not moving. NOT MOVING. NOT/
Still, stiff, stick, straight.
Who? Who? Who? WHOHOOHOOHOO?
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Be still. Be calm.
Soft. Slow. Steady.
Sunlight. Morning.
Bed.
Safe.
Safe.
Yes, safe.
Think.
Yes, think.
twitching finger,
A restless arm,
A waking spine.
I remember!
I remember!
I remember!

***

Another bed.
Another sun.
I remember!

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