JESS is sitting in a HALL, waiting for a job interview. She nervously plucks at her RESUME which is in her hand. She shifts in her seat and her WALKING STICK falls to the floor. She reaches down and picks it up, using the HANDBAG at her feet to prop the foot of the WALKING STICK.
An OFFICE DOOR opens and JOCK, the manager, walks out. JESS jumps up, knocking her WALKING STICK down again. She reaches down to pick it and her HANDBAG up.
JOCK
Jess Connel?
JESS
Yes.
JESS goes to shake his hand, but both her hands are full and after an awkward moment they both give up. JOCK indicates for her to go into the office. After an another awkward moment when she tries to arrange the HANDBAG, the RESUME, and the WALKING STICK in the right hands JESS makes her way forward.INT. JOCK’S OFFICE. DAY
JESS stands awkwardly inside the door. JOCK steps around her to take his SEAT behind the DESK. The OFFICE is littered with CABLES and WORK WEAR as well as piles of PAPERS and FOLDERS and a LAPTOP COMPUTER.
JOCK
Excuse the mess. It’s pretty crazy with the Festival as you can imagine. Take a seat. I’m Jock Brannan, the Technical Manager for The Arts Centre.
JESS
Thanks Mr Brannan. I totally understand. Been there, done that.
JESS laughs.
JOCK
Call me Jock. Yes, I had a look at your resume. It’ pretty impressive. What happened to your foot?
JESS
Pardon?
JOCK
Your foot. I assume you’ve sprained it or something?
JESS
Oh no. My feet are okay. It’s my hips which are the problem.
JOCK
Women and their weight. I’ll never understand! It’s a bit much to use a cane don’t you think though? It’s not as if you are a hippopotomus.
JESS
I’ve never seen a hippopotomus use a walking stick.
JOCK
Oh, sorry. Forgot. Not allowed to talk about a woman’s weight.
JESS
Oh, I thought we were talking about hippos?
JOCK
Hah! Funny! I once told one of our lady lighting operators she needed to get up in the grid a bit more or she wouldn’t fit in the chair anymore. She went right off. She really needed to drink some concrete that one. Couldn’t take a joke. You look like you can, though.
JESS
I prefer machine oil. It goes down more smoothly.
JOCK
Um. Moving on then. So you want to join our lighting team do you? As I said. Had a look at your resume. Looks like you’ve had more experience than me! Everyone pads it a bit, though don’t they?
JESS
I don’t use pushup bras.
JOCK
Oh, sorry. You resume I mean. Obviously you’ve beefed it up a bit. I totally get it.
JESS
Um, no I haven’t. I have done everything I have written on there.
JOCK
Really? So you were the Assistant Technical Manager at the Concert Hall?
JESS
Yes.
JOCK
You know this is a small industry. It won’t be hard for me to check up on all of this. If you’re telling a porky pie now would be the time to fess up my girl.
JESS
Luckily Tim warned me about you, Jock, otherwise I might just be offended around about now.
JOCK
Tim? Tim Cahill? Tim Cahill the Operations Manager of the Concert Hall?
JESS
The one and only.
JOCK
Why didn’t you tell me you knew him?
JESS
He’s one of the referees listed on my resume. Here’s a hard copy if you are having trouble reading the electronic version.
JESS
hands over the RESUME she has been holding.
JOCK
Tim and I are great mates. Once, when we were touring with No Cause For A Llama we went on the biggest bender of out lives.
TIM and a younger JOCK are roadies sitting in a theatre dressing room. CLOTHES and EMPTY BEER BOTTLES are strewn about. TIM is standing on a CHAIR playing air guitar, and JOCK is skulling a BEER as he throws an EMPTY BOTTLE at the MIRROR and cracks it.
Cut to TIM and JOCK in the back seat of a TAXI. TIM has his head hanging out the window, vomiting, and JOCK is shouting to the driver (O.S.) to turn up the music which is heavy rock, as he head bangs in his seat.
Cut to TIM and JOCK in a plush hotel suite. Again CLOTHES are everywhere. JOCK is sucking on a BOTTLE OF BOURBON with only a small amount left and TIM is lighting a BONG. JOCK is in his underwear and standing on a TABLE. He holds his BOTTLE like a cricket bat and nods at TIM. TIM bowls the bong and JOCK hits it for a six. It goes flying across the room and smashes the CHANDALIER before flying into the BAR and breaking GLASSES and BOTTLES. JOCK spews again.
Cut back to interview
JESS
Tim told me.
JOCK
How is the bugger? We haven’t worked together since then.
JESS
Tim doesn’t drink anymore.
JOCK
What? What does he do for fun then?
JESS
Just the normal stuff. He’s got a wife and kids. Does German swordplay for a hobby. He not only has fun, but now he can remember the good times too!
JOCK
Yeah. I always said he was the smart one. I never got around to all that having a family stuff. Can’t find a woman who’ll put up with me.
JOCK laughs at his own joke.
JESS Gee. That really surprises me.
JOCK
Ooh, a sassy one aren’t you. I reckon you’ll fit in here right enough. Look, you obviously have the skills and experience for the job as lighting technician here at The Arts Centre but I need to ask you a few questions anyway. Just boring administraton so I can tick the boxes, y’know?
JESS
Fire away.
JOCK
So, as a lighting technician you will be required to undertake manual handling in the form of lifting, such as large lighting equipment, heavy desks, and occassionally packed road cases up a few stairs. Is that okay.
JESS
No.
JOCK
What?
JESS
I can’t do lifting.
JOCK
Why not?
JESS
I am too weak.
JOCK
I know you’re a girl, but there’ll be guys to help out. You won’t be doing it all on your own.
JESS
It doesn’t matter. Didn’t the agency tell you about me?
JOCK
Of course they did. I have your resume don’t I.
JESS
I don’t mean my work history. I mean my current situation.
JOCK
I don’t understand what you mean, but I don’t have time to waste with silly little princesses. I was going to ask you why you haven’t worked the last two years, but I think I am starting to understand. Nobody wants to hire girls who think they are special and won’t do the hard work, expecting the men to do it all.
JESS
That is not it at all!
JOCK
Sure it’s not!
JESS
I knew this was going to happen. Jock. Did you see the name of the employment agency I am working with?
JOCK
What does that matter?
JOCK looks at the computer screen and scrolls the page.
JOCK
Disabilities R Us. So what?
JESS
So...
JOCK
Oh...oh! Oh, I see. Oh, the cane. Oh, well, ummm. So you can’t lift?
JESS
No.
JOCK
Well, can you at least climb ladders?
JESS
No.
JOCK You can’t climb ladders?
JESS
No.
JOCK
Let’s save some time here. Why don’t you tell me what else you can’t do so that we can then figure out what you can do.
JESS
Well, I can’t climb stairs.
JOCK
This is a theatre complex. All there is is stairs. Stairs, stairs and more stairs.
JESS
I know. Oh, I can’t work full time...
JOCK
You can’t work full time? This is a full time lighting technician job! Long hours and hard physical work are all there is.
JESS
I know.
JOCK
So why are you here?
JESS
Because they sent me.
JOCK
Why did you come?
JESS
Because I had no choice. If I don’t do what they say I lose my pension.
JOCK
Bloody pensions. Money for nothing, they are.
JESS
So you’re going to hire me then?
JOCK
Not on your life! I tell you what though, can you drink?
JESS
Is Jesus famous?
JOCK
Hah! Well, it’s pretty darn close to beer o’clock. I can’t give you the job, but I can get you totally sozzled. Come on. Let’s head down to the bar and we can swap a few war stories while we both drown our sorrows.
JESS
I thought you’d never ask!
We time shift back to the day before when JESS has her first meeting with KELLY, her unemployment case manager. KELLY is mid 40s and wears a sever SKIRT SUIT with her hair pulled back in a tight BUN. KELLY’s OFFICE is immaculate with lots of space for wheelchair movement and no clutter - not even on the DESK. The WALLS are covered with POSTERS about disability issues and employment programs. This OFFICE has an AUTOMATED SLIDING DOOR for accessibility which KELLY can operate from her desk. The DOOR is open.
KELLY
NEXT!
JESS rides through the open door on her MOBILITY SCOOTER and the DOOR closes behind her. KELLY is TYPING furiously on her DESKTOP COMPUTER with an OVERSIZE screen for accessibility. KELLY does not look up.
KELLY
Take a seat!
JESS
Oh. Okay. Is it okay if I park here?
KELLY
What? Oh, whatever.
JESS steps off the SCOOTER and sits on the empty CHAIR beside the DESK.
KELLY
Your name is Jess Connel, right?
JESS
Yes, that’s right?
KELLY
My name is Kelly. You’re looking for a job?
JESS
Yes, I am.
KELLY
Hmmm, let’s see. Bachelor degree. Good. Masters! Great! Oh, in Creative Writing. What a waste. Still, there’s nothing we can do about that. Employers might not hold that against you. Not exactly job focussed, though, is it?
JESS
I was looking for something to combine my old skills with my new situation.
KELLY
What situation? Apart from the one where you decided to dilly dally for two years wasting tax payer money on an ARTS degree!
JESS
Well, I thought it would be better than just dilly dallying and wasting tax payer money in rehabilitation.
KELLY
What? Oh yes, your injury.
KELLY
looks up from her computer for the briefest of moments, giving JESS the once over.
KELLY
You look fine to me. Shouldn’t be too hard finding you a job. Doesn’t look like there’s much wrong with you.
JESS
Have you looked at my medical/
KELLY
So, I see you work in theatre. You don’t take life very seriously, do you?
JESS
Well, it does have it’s absurd moments but/
KELLY
I see you jump from project to project. Doesn’t look good to an employer, you know.
JESS
It’s the nature of the industry. Trust me, any potential employer of my skills will know exactly what is going on.
KELLY
Hrmph! Sensible girls learn to type and get a solid, dependable office job.
JESS
I do know how to type. After all, how could I be a writer if I didn’t?
JESS pokes out her tongue. KELLY doesn’t look up from her screen.
KELLY
Yes, well, okay. Still, a good background in admin is what we all need to look after our futures.
JESS
Three years in the finance industry really isn’t trying, is it?
JESS makes a face and wiggles her fingers at the sides. KELLY still doesn’t notice.
KELLY
What? Oh yes, I see. Okay. Good. I reckon we’ll have you employed in just a jiffy then.
JESS
Great.
KELLY
So I was having a flick through our database and I have the perfect job for you. I was rather surprised to see I have a perfect match in fact! A lighting technician at the Arts Centre. Right up your alley.
JESS
Um, I don’t think I can do that work any more...
KELLY
Full time too. See, Disabilities ’R Us get you working in no time at all!
JESS
I can’t work full time.
KELLY
Nonsense. Nothing wrong with you. You just have to think you’re okay and you will be. 99% of everyone’s problems are in the mind.
JESS
A few appear on xrays too...
KELLY finally looks up and gives JESS the NOTE.
KELLY
There you are. I’ve made an interview appointment for you tomorrow at 4pm.
JESS
Look, I don’t think...
KELLY
turns back to the screen.
KELLY
I’ve also set up an appointment with your Occupational Therapist for the next morning. Her name is Bella. She will sort out what modifications you need for the job.
JESS
You are assuming I will get it.
KELLY
Of course you will. I probably won’t need to see you again. Now off you go. Nice knowing you. NEXT!
JESS moves back onto her SCOOTER.
JESS
Kelly, I have something for you.
KELLY
That’s pretty. When did you make it?
JESS
Just know.
KELLY
Oh. I didn’t notice.
JESS
I know.
KELLY
Well, thank you anyway... Oh...
JESS
See you next week, then shall I?
KELLY
Er, yes. Probably...
JESS
Cheerio then. I look forward to Disabilities ’R Us getting me working in no time!
JESS rides out, waving cheerily.
INT: BELLA’S CLINICAL LAB - DAY
It is the day after the job interview. JESS arrives for her appointment with the Occupational Therapist BELLA. BELLA has an AUTOMATED DOOR as well. The LAB has the look of a very modern torture chamber. Around the walls are an array of PROSTHETICS and MEASURING DEVICES for which the use is unknowable. In the centre of the room is a LARGE CHAIR which resembles a dentist chair, but it has measurement marks and strange appendages all over it. The room is dimly lit so everything is shadowy and spooky.
BELLA is a hippy style woman in her mid 20’s with wild hair and a smile which never leaves her face. JESS rides into the room on her SCOOTER and the door closes behind her. At first she sees noone. She rides around hesitantly touching some of the objects. She pokes a PROSTHESIS and it falls. She and tries to put it back, but she is clumsy and a few other things fall onto her head with a loud clatter. Just at that moment BELLA emerges from behind her desk.
BELLA
Oh, my, my, my. I am so sorry sweetie. I was just taking a brief nap. Napping is essential to sustaining good energy in the work place. Here. Let me help you with that.
They fumble around and more things fall on JESS.
JESS
Perhaps you could turn on the lights?
BELLA
Oh, of course! Silly me!
BELLA turns on the lights and then comes back and lifts the items off JESS and clears a path to her desk.
BELLA
I am so sorry, my love. Look at you. You already have huge mountains to climb and here I am creating hazards here, there and everywhere!
JESS
It’s fine. It was my fault. I shouldn’t have been touching things in the dark.
BELLA
No, indeed. You shouldn’t have you naughty minx. Never mind. What’s done is done as they say. Now. who are you and why are you here?
JESS
My name is Jess. We have an appointment.
BELLA
Do we dear? Are you sure? I have a memory like a sieve you know. You’d almost think I was the one who had the car accident.
She makes her way behind her DESK to look at her DESKTOP COMPUTER, with and OVERSIZE SCREEN.
JESS
How do you know my accident was in a car?
BELLA
Wasn’t it?
JESS
Well, yes. It was.
BELLA
Bella knows everything, dear.
JESS
You didn’t know I was coming.
BELLA
Yes, well none of us are perfect, now are we? You would know that better than any of us.
JESS
I beg your pardon?
BELLA
You know what I mean! Ah, see. Here you are. Jess Connel. Car accident. Incomplete tetraplegia. I told you.
JESS
Told me what?
BELLA
You’re not perfect, silly. Just this little matter of arms and legs not working properly.
JESS
Yes, it’s just a little problem.
BELLA
It’s not a problem at all though really, now is it sweetheart.
JESS
Call me Jess. And how is it not a problem.
BELLA
Come over here, to the chair, and I will show you. Of course, 99% of all problems are in the mind, but it’s that 1% I can help you with to get you going and keep you going love. It’s all in the chair you know. The perfect chair is what makes a perfect job!
They go over to the chair.
BELLA
Now, let me help you up.
JESS
No, it’s fine. I can manage.
BELLA
Nonsense. We can all use a bit of help now can’t we sweety? Here we go.
BELLA tries to put her arms around JESS to help her and JESS steps out of the chair at the same time. They both fall in a tangle of arms and legs.
BELLA
Oh, my. That didn’t really work now did it.
JESS
No. It didn’t.
BELLA
No matter. Relax. I’ll sort us out.
JESS
No. You relax and stay still. I will get myself into the chair.
BELLA
Are you sure my love.
JESS
Yes, I am sure. And my name is Jess.
JESS gets herself untangled awkwardly and manouvres into the CHAIR.
JESS
Now you.
BELLA
Well done dear. See. I told you it was all in your mind. Look at what you are capable of!
JESS
I am weak, but not a complete invalid. I have full mobility. I am just weak.
BELLA
Yes dear. Of course. And what I am here to do is to make sure your work place is one which supports you to keep working.
JESS
Now that sounds good.
BELLA
I just need to get a few measurements.
BELLA
Now, I believe Kelly sent you out for an interview yesterday. How did it go.
JESS
As well as I expected.
BELLA
You got the job then? Why that’s fabulous. When do you start?
JESS
I don’t.
BELLA
Why, whatever do you mean?
JESS
I didn’t get the job. I was never going to get the job and even if I did, I was never going to be able to do it.
BELLA
Don’t be silly dear. Kelly would only ever send you to interview for appropriate jobs. You must be mistaken.
JESS
The job was full time.
BELLA
Nonsense. Of course you can’t work full time.
JESS
That’s what I said.
BELLA
You must not have communicated that properly. It doesn’t matter though. We can just speak to them and see if we can work out something part time for you. Just a few hours sitting at a desk, chatting with your work mates, eh? Sounds like paradise. Not like the burden on us poor schmucks working full time. You’ll be a lady of leisure.
JESS
Not quite I think. Besides, it wasn’t a desk job
BELLA
Oh, what was it? Customer service?
JESS
No. It was working as a lighting technician.
BELLA
Ooh that sound exciting, lady. Tell me more. As I said before, the perfect chair makes the perfect job. I don’t really know what a lighting technician does so how could I possibly know what the perfect chair will be.
JESS
Do you have a flying chair?
BELLA
What a funny girl you are! Of course not.
JESS
Well that is the chair I will need.
BELLA
I don’t understand dear.
JESS
It’s Jess.
BELLA
Yes, of course it is sweety.
JESS
Please call me Jess.
BELLA
Absolutely my girl. Now, tell me more about what this job entails?
JESS
Why are you doing that?
BELLA
God is in the detail sweety.
JESS
Oh. Okay. Well, there’s a lot of ladder climbing.
BELLA
Of course you can’t do that!
JESS
Heavy lifting.
BELLA
That’s not going to happen.
JESS
Stairs. Lots and lots of stairs.
BELLA
Oh my. I hate to say it but I really do think Kelly may have gotten it wrong.
JESS
Really? But she seemed so caring and had a real - attention to detail you might say.
BELLA
Disabilities ’R Us are never defeated. I am sure I can find the chair which will be the answer to all your problems. We will get you in this job come hell or high water. You just wait and see, my love.
JESS
My name is Jess...
Destiny’s Child song ’Survivor’ is playing quite loudly. JESS enters the dining room from the kitchen with UTENSILS and NAPKINS for two. She flicks the LIGHT SWITCH as she enters and the OVERHEAD LIGHT turns on for a brief moment before blinking out.
JESS A blown globe. Great. Well, at least there’s still daylight for me to see what I’m doing.
JESS dumps the UTENSILS and NAPKINS on the table. She goes out to the patio and comes back in dragging an A-FRAME LADDER. It is too heavy for her so she is very clumsy with it. JESS opens the ladder and looks up, but realises it is in the wrong place and she needs to move the table out of the way.
JESS sighs deeply and starts softly singing along to the music as she struggles to move the TABLE. It is made of a heavy dark wood and she is weak so she has to change positions several times. She pushes with her hands, pulls it from the other side, and eventually leans against it and uses her full body weight to shift it. When it is moved she collapses on a CHAIR for a moment to recover.
JESS shuffles the LADDER into the right spot, climbs it and removes the blown GLOBE before realising she forgot to grab a replacement.
JESS
Bugger!
JESS
Okay Jess, all you have to do is get down and then you can rest on the couch. Are you ready legs? Let’s do it!
JESS
Well, this is embarrasing! Who can I call for help?
JESS reaches into her POCKET for her MOBILE PHONE, but it isn’t there.
JESS
Dammit, where’s my phone?
JESS
Bugger! Now what? Mmmm. Eddy should be home any moment I guess. Great. The last thing I wanted was for him to catch me up a ladder! What time is it?
INT. JESS’S DINING ROOM. EARLY EVENING
We see the CLOCK but the time is now 5:45
EDDY (O.S.)
Jess, I’m home!
JESS
Finally! I’M IN HERE!
JESS
Stop laughing. This isn’t funny.
EDDY
No. Of course it’s not!
EDDY is still laughing.
JESS
Oh, alright, maybe it is a bit funny.
EDDY
Yes it is! What on earth are you doing?
JESS
Stop asking questions and get me down from here!
EDDY
How are you stuck?
JESS
I’m not stuck. I can’t move!
EDDY
Oh Jess. What happened?
JESS
I’ll explain when you get me down from here.
EDDY
Alright silly.
JESS
Don’t call me silly.
EDDY
Okay...silly.
EDDY
It’s a good thing you have a big strong man around to get you out of these messes. What were you doing up there anyway?
JESS
The light bulb blew.
EDDY
Oh Jess, you should have waited until I got home. That’s what you have me here for. To take care of all those manly things that need doing.
JESS
Changing a light bulb is not a ’manly’ task for goodness sake!
EDDY
For most people, no. For you, yes. Now repeat after me - I will not go climbing ladders on my own again!
JESS suddenly bursts into tears. EDDY sits beside her on the COUCH, lifts her onto his lap and soothes her.
EDDY
Oh, babe. I’m sorry. You just gave me a fright. I didn’t mean to upset you.
JESS
It’s not you. I’m angry with myself. I feel so stupid and useless. It was just a friggin’ light bulb for goodness sake!
EDDY
Nonsense. You are amazing. Climing a ladder for you is like going on a five mile hike for the rest of us.
JESS
I know. I’m the one hiking. It’s just hard for me to stop thinking like I did before the accident. I’m still me, it’s just that my body has forgotten how to work.
EDDY
I know. But who cares if you can’t walk...or lift...or throw...
JESS
I can’t even thrown like a girl!
EDDY
I can’t thrown like a girl either so we are in this together! I have the muscles and you, my love, have that incredibly powerful brain and the friendliest smile in the world. When we both learn how to pool our talents we will take over the world.
JESS
You can be my Superman and I’ll be your Einstien?
EDDY
Exactly!
JESS
The roast! I forgot about it.
EDDY
I’ll take care of it. Remember, I am faster than a speeding bullet.
EDDY jumps up from the couch and JESS falls onto the cushions ungracefully. He runs into the kitchen, getting a face full of smoke as he opens the DOOR. JESS pulls herself up into a sitting position.
JESS
Einstein wasn’t known for his cooking, I guess...
JESS is sitting at the DINING TABLE. The dining room has been restored and the TABLE has been set for two with FLOWERS from the GARDEN in a small VASE in the middle. A CANDLE has been lit and there a bottle of RED WINE and TWO WINE GLASSES with the WINE poured. JESS is sipping on her WINE.
EDDY
(O.S) Voila! Dinner is served.
EDDY comes from the kitchen with a TEATOWEL draped over one arm and presents a pizza box for JESS’s approval before placing it in the middle of the table.
JESS
I didn’t know roasts were flat.
EDDY
Well, the roast was just a little bit too well done for our tender palates so I had to enact Plan B.
JESS
Plan B, eh? I hope you didn’t work too hard on this Italian masterpiece.
EDDY
So much kneading and rolling!
JESS
I can see you really worked up a sweat.
EDDY
Are you doubting me prowess in the kitchen.
JESS
Don’t worry. You have other talents.
EDDY Mmmmm, would you like to try out my other ’talents’.
JESS
Perhaps later Lothario. Right now I am starving - for food! It has been a long day.
EDDY
Yes, you have literally climbed mountains, haven’t you.
JESS
Stop laughing! Today I have been caught in an avalanche of prosthetics, been wrestled to the ground by a hippy, and - yes climbed a bloody mountain!
EDDY
It sounds like an epic tale.
JESS
It is. It is full of ogres and orcs and one particularly dashing knight in shining armour.
EDDY
Who, as it turns out, is also the chef du jour. A slice of pizza, my lovely damsel in distress?
JESS
You are going to have to slice it for me. I barely have enough energy to lift this wine glass.
EDDY
We are a full service restaurant, my lady. I have spared no expense and this pizza has been delivered pre-sliced. Only the best for our valiant heroine!
JESS
My hero!
They clink their WINE GLASSES and laugh as EDDY passes over a slice to JESS.
END
