Sunday 31 August 2014

Automatic Writing #7

This reminds me of when I was a sound tech.  My head buried in the back of electronic equipment, buried in tangled cables.  Hours, days, years of my life spent chasing signals down wires.  Imagining each pulse as an act of life and liveliness.  Like the heart it should never cease.  Like a heart surgeon, looking for the blockage or the hole.  Patching up the engine of life (or sound).  Looking for the problem, trying to find a solution.  Pumping knobs and buttons and pots in the same way doctors pump the heart.  The sound signal is the blood of life to the audio engineer.

The cables are thick and insulated.  You can't really see the wires, and you definitely can't see the signals.  It is like a sixth sense though.  A psychic awareness of the electrical highway.  If you know what to look for, what to listen for, what to feel for, you will find it.

They say, in this age of digital consoles, that you can't mix sound with your eyes.  Well I say you can't just mix sound with your ears either.  You have to feel it.  Just as the signal flows down the wire, the soundwaves vibrate through your body.

You don't just hear that base beat, you feel it.  That 'money note' isn't a sound.  It is the goose bumps felt when it is sung.  Music is a feeling.  All sound is feeling.  As your ears vibrate, your other internal organs are vibrating as well.

It is not just your body vibrating with the sound.  It is the world vibrating with you too.  It is a movement of universal synchronicity, that driving doof, getting your intestines worked up is also shaking the tables and chairs, rocking the glasses, and rattling the door.  Your vibrations are at one with the universe.

Tuesday 19 August 2014

Found Writing

35 years. 35 years. 35 long years.  Long, long, years.  35 years of wishing.  Wishing.  Wishing for... what?  Sitting, wishing, reading.  Wishing for adventure.  Reading about adventure.  A library full of adventure.  Book after book after book after book of lives, loves, travails, hopes, dreams, hardships, failures, joy, glory, dragons, spells, wonder, and truth.  All of it written down.  All of it to be shared.  And here I sit.  Surrounded.  Surrounded for 35 years by adventure.  Reading about it, longing for it, dreaming of it, but never, ever doing anything about it.

I can't go.  I have my job.  I have my house to look after.  My possessions.  What will happen to my dog?  Besides, the bread would go mouldy.  I can't go.  I have to clean my bathroom first.  I can leave my house in a mess.  I don't really have anything suitable to wear.  I need to go shopping first.  And what would I buy?  Will it be hot or cold?  Will there be snow?  Do I need an umbrella or a bikini?  This is ridiculous!  No.  I can't go yet.  35 years isn't so long.  I do think I need another book though.  It might give me some ideas...

As I walk down the street I notice a travel agent,  I hesitate at the window, looking in.  Maybe I could make an enquiry.  It couldn't hurt.  It's not as if I am actually going right now.  Look!  They're having a sale - 35 years of adventure ON SALE!  That sounds exciting.  A bit long perhaps.  Maybe they have a shorter option.  Even full price, 10 years has to be cheaper than 35 years at a discount.  Although... you do always get better value for money when buying in bulk...  There might be quite a lot of savings by buying the full 35 years.  I will ask.  It can't hurt to ask...

I step inside and it looks rather more like a book store than a travel agency.  Stacks and stacks of books and magazines.  I browse and wander and then I see it!  The Book of GO.  I hesitate or just a moment but then I grab it quickly off the shelf before I can change my mind.  The money exchanges hands and then - I am GONE!

Wednesday 13 August 2014

Collage Writing

Tired
The end of a long day
Clasping at my face
Clutching at straws
Writing a letter
Admitting responsibility
Remembering
Spinning back through time
Stopped at the moment
They take a drag
A long thick drag
Getting high
I am working with children
It's not in the right place
Fuck you
It's not in the right place
We'll fix it then
I am not OCD
It is not in the right place
Feeling destructive
We'll knock it down then
They exit.

Tuesday 12 August 2014

Automatic Writing #6

I am so cool.  Everybody thinks so.  Do you know how they can tell?  Well, I guess if I had tl tell, you it wouldn't be true.  You can just see it for yourself.  I am always having problems with my friends because they are always so jealous.  They say they aren't, but how could they not be?  I mean, seriously!  Once, Jenna tried to tell me that she thought her hair was better than mine.  I laughed.  There is no point in getting upset because I know it is absurd and they are just trying to feel better about their imperfections.  It must be hard to have a friend like me.  Imagine always being compared to me and to be shown wanting.  I guess it would be easier for them if I had some flaws, but I really don't.  Usually, people who are this gorgeous are quite dumb.  Not me.  Dux of the School.  If they are not dumb, they are mean and bitchy, but I never say a bad word about anyone.  I never even mentioned it when I noticed that Jenna's last eyebrow wax was uneven.  And when Kurt spilled pasta sauce down his white pants, I was the first person to stand up and yell for a waiter.  Jenna said I should have been more discreet, but I know what I did was right.  Pasta sauce stains, and I couldn't be seen walking around with a guy with sauce down his pants.  I don't understand why Kurt dropped me that night.  I guess it's even harder to date perfection than it is to be a friend to it.  That's alright though.  Everyone either wants to be my boyfriend or my best friend.  I have warned Jenna that there is a lot of competition out there.  She once said she didn't want to be my friend anymore because I was so self-centred.  Self-centred?  Silly girl!  I had to explain to her that she was just not seeing things the way they truly are and she is confusing confidence and knowledge with ego.  I don't blame her for her confusion.  She isn't me.

Monday 11 August 2014

Automatic Writing #5

RON:  Hup, 2, 3, 4.  Hup, 2, 3, 4.  Hup, 2, 3, 4.  Hup, 2, 3, 4.  Hup, clomp, clomp, comp. Hup, clomp, clomp, clomp.  Hup, clomp, clomp, ...

HARRY:  Ouch!

RON:  Wait a minute.  Wait a minute!  What is going on?

HARRY:  I keep tripping over these stupid pom poms.

RON:  Get it together soldier!

HARRY:  I am not a soldier, I'm an actor.  And even if I was, the enemy would win in five seconds.  Who ever heard of going to war in pom poms?

RON:  Come on, Harry.  Pull yourself together.  Rehearsals are already behind schedule.  Pick up your feet - literally, mate.

HARRY:  I would have to lift my feet to the ceiling to walk in these shoes.  What kind of army are we supposed to be in anyway? The clown army of east circusia?

RON:  Don't be stupid.

HARRY:  I'm not being stupid, Ron.  Look at these tights, and garters, and a skirt!  Are we playing girls?

Sunday 10 August 2014

Automatic Writing #4

Walls crumbling
Stone falling brick by brick
A precipice
The way ahead lost
The path behind disappearing
What to do?
Stay and be buried
Or take one step forward
Knowing you will fall
Is it an abyss?
Or is there a ledge?
A tree branch?
Something to catch you
To save you
A soft fall?
Is it all over now?
All that is left is the choice
How to die?
Or is one choice
A decision of hope?
A certain death
More an act of faith?
Either way
The only option not available
Is stasis
Inertia
No change
Is no possibility
Making no choice
Is a choice of it's own

You still have time
The end is nigh
But you are at the centre
Of the Apocalypse
You look out
Sweat beading your brow
Breathe coming in desperate gasps
Exhausted from running
Away from the destruction
Only to be halted
By the absence
Nowhere else to run
Head turning
Back and forth
Rivulets seeping
Down your body
Is it getting hotter?
Your heart beats like crazy
Thump, thump, thump
Panic rises

Saturday 9 August 2014

Automatic Writing #3

Closed in walls
Looking through glass
Safe from the world
Structure
Solidity
Regularity
Conformity
Protection
Escape
Architecture
Shape
Regularity

Cut off
Shut in
Peering
Peeking
Seeking
Searching
Afraid
Wanting
Yearning
Sharp angles
Intersections
Cold geometry
Height
Distance
Afar

Thursday 7 August 2014

Automatic Writing #2

Families
Lineage
Generation upon generation
Piles of bodies
Death
Decay
Smiling faces
Warm embraces
Loving stares
People who care
Living a lifetime
Some lives are short
Some lives are longer
People die naturally
People die with violence
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
All end up in the ground
On the ground
Worm food
Fertilizer
Giving new life

But sometimes
The bodies are stacked
So high
Mass graves
Cover mass crimes
Masses of humanity
The bones of civilization
The archaeology of dominion
People look at bricks
And stones
Piled upon each other
And say 'this is history'
It is truer perhaps
To look at the bones
This is the history
Of mankind

Wednesday 6 August 2014

Automatic Writing #1

The sun is shining
The sky is open
The world is alive

It is a lie
Yesterday was grey
Closed and cold

The earth hints at summer
Warmth and play
A tease, a glimpse

But winter is still around
The cold and wet
Just waiting

Hidden behind trees
Behind buildings
Beyond the horizon

Lurking, peeking
Wating for us to relax
Watching as we loose the layers

As soon as t-shirts emerge
It will show it's face
Winter will reappear

The freezing cold winds
Hail stones and icy frost
Bare skin pummeled by nature

Cruel, cruel nature
Ever the prankster
Keeping secrets from the unprepared

Puny mortals
Living the lives of gods
Yet controlling nothing

Pawns in a galactic game of chess
Tossed and tugged
Whipped and beaten

Slaves to the end.